Page 24 of Final Goodbye
It just wasn’t the right time.
I loosened my grip around her body, releasing her from the firm hug I held her in. “Drive safe. Text me when you get home so I know you made it okay.”
I watched her drive away, and later that night, I slept like shit. She never texted me when she got home, and it had to be one of two reasons. She was either upset with me or she wasn’t safe, and that thought worried me more than anything. If she was a little upset with me, that was something I could handle. But when the image of Logan flashed through my mind, all I felt was rage.
Pacing back and forth on the soft carpet in my bedroom, it felt like I was going to burn a hole through the floor. The clock read two-thirty in bright red and it was late—beyond the time I normally went to bed. I was up checking my phone every other minute, hoping her name would pop up on the screen, which didn’t help.
Still no text.?
“Fuck it,” I mumbled under my breath as I grabbed my phone off the charger.
Me: Just checking in to make sure you got home safely.
I stared at the message I sent, waiting for her to text me back. I wouldn’t be able to sleep until I heard from her. She’s weaved her way under my skin in such a short amount of time that therewas a permanent spot in my mind reserved for her, like shebelongedthere.
I haven’t felt like this about a woman in a long time. This feeling overwhelmed me so intensely that it was hard to eat or sleep unless I knew she was safe. I was fine being single and doing my own thing…until she came back to town. She showed up and it was like it only took one look at her to know she was different.
Those three dots showed up, and instantly, my anxiety started to settle.
Paige: I’m home, sorry... I showered first thing and had a late-night snack. My mind was all over the place and I completely spaced.
Fuck. She had no idea what she was doing to me, did she? I had no reason to worry, yet I’d been up all hours of the night, thinking about the worst-case scenario. My phone dinged with another text from her.
Paige: Shouldn’t you be asleep? Early morning, right?
I could sense the bite in her voice even through a text message. I was unsure if that was her way of getting back at me for cutting our night short and using work as an excuse, or if she was eager to talk more. So, I took the opportunity to be a little vulnerable.
Me: I’m sure I’ll have to drink an extra espresso shot or two in the morning, but I couldn't fall asleep until I knew you were safe.
Before I could overthink it, I sent another text.
Me: With everything that happened earlier with Logan, I was worried. He’s unhinged and my mind was running rampant with terrible thoughts. I have no problem helping you out when it comes to him but tell me… What’s the history? What did he do? I need to know how angry I need to be with the guy.
Angry.There was that word again. Every time Logan’s name came up or he crossed my mind, it made my skin fucking crawl. Before Paige came back to town, I felt like my anger was under control. I was going to therapy less and less these days. I was high on life, working hard to prove to my dad I was just as good of a leader in the construction business as he was. I’d hang out with friends and entertain the occasional conversation with a girl, if the timing was right. But Paige was back and when I was around her, I felt my happiest. I was on cloud fucking nine. Then Logan would come around and the rage was back—the rage that burned me up inside and hadn’t felt in years.
The ding of my phone caught my attention when I saw Paige had typed a response.
Paige: I don’t want to keep you up even later… It’s a long story.
Me: I have all the time in the world, especially when it comes to you, so lay it on me.?
Paige: Ugh. It’s crazy because it was all so long ago. But you never know what you’re going to get with Logan. Senior year of high school, he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. His sudden mood swings were drastic. One minute, we would be doing just fine. The next, he was a completely different person. It was scary how quick his moods could change.
Paige: Something as small as me hanging out with my friends would give him the idea that I was out cheating on him. When I didn’t want to kiss and make up right after we had an argument, he would have another manic episode.
Paige: After a while, it was scary to be around him. He refused to take his meds and denied getting the proper help every time I mentioned it. I was the person who had to take the brunt of his outbursts. I left town because he wouldn’t accept the fact that I wanted to break up. I packed up and moved to Phoenix. I tried the whole college thing and that fell through, so I just stayed there and worked. I got used to being there and never craved coming back.
Paige: But today just proved to me that Logan hasn’t changed one bit.
Text after text filled my inbox with all the reasons why Paige feared to be around Logan. I was sure there was more to the story, but now I had a good idea of why she was so uncomfortable on the occasions he had come around. Especially after today, when he didn’t just show his anger through his words, but with his hands. Why she was so desperate for my help— even if pretending to date was a crazy idea. After all of this time away from him, she had good reason to fear him.
Me: I just thought he was a drunk asshole who people in town didn’t like to be around.?I didn’t know there was this whole other side to him. This unstable side…
Paige: Yeah, well… it gets worse.
Me: I’m gonna kill the guy and I don’t even know how it’s gotten worse yet. How could it actually get worse?
Paige: He never stopped trying to get a hold of me. When I blocked his phone number, he would always find a way around it. After months of silence, he would all of a sudden pop up on my social media accounts. Until I continued to block him with every contact. But over the years, he continued to linger around.?Just when I thought it was the last attempt, another message would pop up.
