Page 28 of Final Goodbye
Giving me a sad smile, she nodded in agreement. “I’d like that, honey.”
Offering up my help may be hard when it came to the parent that was no longer here, but being so vulnerable in this situation would hopefully help our relationship grow. I figured she was determined to do this anyway, so I might as well help and set aside a few things of my own I could get rid of when I was ready. Or just hold on to them as a memory. It would be hard but maybe it would end up being more therapeutic than I thought.
If I wanted a better relationship with my mom, then step one was finding her happiness. She had already opened up to me today, so maybe she would start doing that more often if she felt like she was in a more positive environment.?
We spent the day bagging up items of clothing and taking photos out of frames that we then placed in photo albums. I made sure to set aside a few shirts I thought Chase might like, and a few baggy sweaters and shirts for myself I could wear to bed. I kept a few pictures in their frames and put them up in my room, after all, I saw this as a compromise. I still needed to feel my dad’s presence in at least one room in this house. But everywhere my mom would be, she could feel better by clearing those things out.
It was a long, emotional day. After putting the few mementos around my temporary room, I sat there in silence. My mind wandered to Declan as I looked down and realized I was still wearing his hoodie. Taking a big inhale with the sleeves around my face, I instantly felt relaxed. Being surrounded by his smellmade me imagine his arms enveloped around me tightly and the comfort that feeling brought me.
That lonely feeling crept in, and I found myself wanting his company. Turning my camera on my phone so it was front facing, I snapped a selfie in his oversized hoodie. Feeling content with the final product, I pulled up our text thread and sent it to him. No message. Just the photo.
The impulsive feeling took over when I sent him the picture of myself, not really considering what the outcome would be. It had to have been only thirty seconds before a response dinged on my phone.
Biting my lower lip, my nerves raced through me like a ticking time bomb as I thought of what his reply would be.
Declan: Are you trying to turn me on, Paige?
Wasn’t expecting that. I thought maybe he’d call me pretty or say something funny and flirty like he normally did. But I wasn’t mad about it. I loved this side of Declan and I kind of wanted to see how far I could push him.
Me: I wouldn’t mind it if you were…
Declan: You sitting there wearing my clothes, with God knows what underneath, will be the death of me.
I decided to push it one step further.
Me: What if I said I wasn’t wearing anything underneath?
I wanted Declan more than I think he knew. When he almost kissed me last night, the lines started to blur. I wanted him to close the gap; we were so close. At first, I just wanted adistraction. But the more I got to know him and the more time we spent together; my thoughts went in a different direction. Seeing where he spent his time alone last night, and the fact that he shared that slice of heaven with me, started to change my mind.
I wanted more moments by the creek with him. I wanted to see the inside of that house he built with his own two hands. I wanted to somehow weave myself into his life so deep that he couldn’t get rid of me.
Declan: I’d say I need to get home right now to relieve the pressure that's building beneath my zipper.
Me: Am I distracting you while you’re trying to work?
A slow smirk spread across my mouth thinking about how I was the reason he had a hard-on at work. All because I was wearing his sweater. That made me wonder what his reaction would be if I was beneath him, on my knees for him, completely bare.
I wanted to see him lose control with me. The thought of him hovering above me flashed through my mind, and before I knew what I was doing, my hand was sliding down my leggings to my warm center.
Declan: Distraction is an understatement. I’m tempted to head home early so I can take a cold plunge in the creek or a hot shower to relieve myself.
Me: Why choose the creek when you could be in a hot shower thinking of me touching myself right now?
Declan: Are you touching yourself in my sweater right now, baby girl?
Me: I was touching myself in your sweater... but it got in the way, so I took it off.
Declan: Fuck, you’re killing me right now. What are you thinking about right now, Paige? What’s going to bring you to the edge to make you come for me?
My fingers weren’t going to be enough now. I needed more. Something more intense to chase this high I was feeling. I reached over to my bedside drawer where I stashed my vibrator when I unpacked.
Me: I’m pretending my little pink toy is your mouth.
Declan: I’m so fucking hard right now. You’re such a tease. Touching yourself and telling me all about it, knowing I’m stuck at work and can’t do anything to relieve myself. You’re going to pay for this, Paige.?
The feeling of my toy latched on to me was too powerful to ignore. Multitasking was not an option right now. It was either text him back or chase my orgasm. I chose myself.
Declan: It better be my name you’re moaning when you finish fucking yourself, Paige.?
