Page 52 of Final Goodbye
He was only twenty-five and his relationship history seemed like a disaster. I couldn’t understand how anyone couldn’t see his potential. How were girls not fawning over him and pining for his attention? Now that I had a taste of him, I didn’t want to give him up. I felt lucky to be in his bed right now.
“I’ve never cheated on anyone…” I admitted. I could feel the deep breath he took and let out, like he was pleased to hear me say that.
“Good, baby. If you wouldn’t mind, don’t start now, please,” he joked, but I knew he was serious.
“Can’t cheat if you aren’t officially with someone. But part of me thinks you already knew that. Maybe you’ve been in this limbo stage before with a girl a time or two. I don’t want any pressure or labels, but I do want you to know I don’t plan to see anyone else.” A small smile tugged at his lips.
“You’re it for me, Paige. But I’ll wait as long as it takes for you to realize the same. Since that day I passed you on the sidewalk, I had no interest in seeing any other woman.” My cheeks instantly flamed with a pink tint to them. I didn’t know what it was he saw in me, but I knew what I saw in him. I could see a safe space. A man with his shit together. Someone who loved his family. A protector of all the people he loved.
Was I one of those people?He had been doing a lot of protecting lately.
“What makes you say that? That I’m it? All I see is a mess of a girl that returned back home under shitty circumstances. A dead father and a psycho ex-boyfriend. If anything, I’m just a project.” I sighed with a lump in my throat.
“You’re anything but a project, Paige. Those things are completely out of your control. That stuff doesn’t define you as a person. You’re funny. You’re fucking beautiful. And you’re so carefree when you let go of all the heaviness weighing you down. I know we have so much more to get to know about each other, but I can’t ignore what I see in you and how I feel when I’m around you.” Tears threatened to prick my eyes.
Hearing him say those things, it made me feel like I really did have a purpose. That there was good inside me. I hated to compare but I couldn’t help it. The recent run-in with Logan re-entered my mind and a flash of memories consumed me. He used to take every chance he could to beat me down and destroy me emotionally. He always said sorry, but I never believed him. I couldn’t. If you were truly sorry, wouldn’t you stop if you realized it hurt someone you cared about and claimed to love?
But hearing Declan rave about me… Fuck, he had a pure heart. He was building me up and putting me on a throne; I’d never had that before. I gave up on men after Logan. In Phoenix, I pushed them aside. Sure, I tried to have a relationship here and there, but mentally, I never felt ready. I didn’t know what it was about being home that had me feeling ready at all. How could I so easily open up to Declan and feel the way I felt about him when I was here dealing with all of this bullshit head-on?
Declan looked down at me as a tear betrayed me and rolled down my cheek.
“Hey, baby, what’s wrong? Did I say something to upset you?” he worried as he wiped my tears with the pad of his thumb.
“No. No, it isn’t you. I feel like an idiot. We had an amazing night, and here I am, crying like a silly little girl. You must have fucked the emotion right out of me,” I lied, trying to play it off, but my smile didn’t quite reach my eyes.
“Tonight was amazing, yes. But trust me, I haven’t forgotten about our run-in with Logan earlier. This day has been an emotional roller coaster. So let it out, baby. Cry if you need to cry. I’m not leaving your side. I’m not here to judge you. You’re not silly or an idiot.” Trying to calm my nerves, I took a big breath and let out a sigh, burying myself in his chest and hugging him just a little tighter until I was ready to let it all out.
“I don’t cry a lot. It took a whole day for me to break down and cry about the news of my dad’s passing. I feel like such a shitty daughter that I haven’t grieved properly. I threw myself into work and I’ve been spending so much time with you, just busying myself in general. It’s like I’ve been waiting to wake up from this dream. I blinked and, in an instant, I was back home, building a new life here and leaving the last decade of my life behind,” I admitted, feeling the relief wash over me now that I got that off my chest.
“Baby, there is no proper way to grieve. We all grieve in different ways. The last thing you are is a shitty daughter and I know your dad would agree with me if he were standing here today. Maybe you needed to be back here and face it all head-on, get some closure. Maybe meeting me was just an added benefit. It’s shitty it took your dad passing away to get you back home for us to reconnect, for you to close your chapter with Logan officially, for you to grow closer with your family. But you are here now, and you are so fucking strong for taking all of this on.” He looked me dead in the eyes, jaw clenched, looking more serious than I’ve ever seen him.
“You’re right. I wish I could see what you see in me. I wish I could be the girl you think I am.” I dropped my eyes, disconnecting from his.
“And what type of girl is that?” he asked.
“You know... The strong type. Fearless. Brave. All of that shit.” He took my chin in his hand, tilting my head back up toward his so I was back to looking in his bright blue eyes.
“Paige, you may be at your weakest right now. But when all of this has passed and you’ve dealt with all of your feelings on your own time, I’ll be here to remind you that you are every single one of those things until you believe me and see it yourself. Until then, I will always be your biggest fan, cheering you on along the way, reminding you every day that I see the best in you.”
Fuck, how did he do that? He always had the right words to say. Any tears falling from my eyes were just purely emotional at this point. I was choked up from the built-up sadness that had washed over me since I came back. But now, I was feeling a whirlwind of emotions from every word that came out of Declan’s mouth.
How could I be so lucky and unlucky all at the same time?
The daybefore Thanksgiving was always the busiest in the bar industry. People trickled into town to spend the holiday with their families, and everyone was off work early and ready to have the next four days off. It didn’t matter what bar you worked at; it would be bustling with people who didn’t want to cook dinner the night before they made their kitchens a mess.
Peakswas no exception, especially being the only bar in town. There were plenty of local restaurants scattered about with their own bars, but they closed down early every night.Peakswas the one place to go and let loose until two o’clock in the morning.
We’d need all hands-on deck for the crowd that was expected to show up tonight. One of the best cover bands that played here was in the process of setting up while Sophie and I worked on stocking the bar.
“So, what’s the update on you and the hot Cooper brother?” Sophie asked. I hadn’t worked with her in a while to update her since I last spilled my guts about the night I spent dry humping Declan.
“You could say there has been quite the development,” I answered nonchalantly while cutting up lime wedges.
“You aren’t getting away without filling me in this time. I have been deprived of details since we last talked and I’m dying to know. Spill,” she demanded.
“Okay, so you know how I said we were pretend dating or whatever?” I started.
“Yeah. What the fuck is that about? I didn’t even know that was a real thing outside of movies.” She laughed.
