Page 71 of Final Goodbye
I looked between the two most important people in my life. “There was no way I’d let him get away without laying my hands on him. He deserved it. For what he did tobothof you.”
Myles fell back onto the couch, head leaning back as he let out a heavy sigh. He seemed to still be struggling through his feelings, which was understandable given the information he’d been holding inside.
Paige stood up, rounding the table that was taking up space between her and Myles. She took a seat next to him and laid a hand gently on his knee. Her eyes seemed to have a permanent gloss to them over the last twenty-four hours, all the emotion hiding behind them.
“Hey… I’m really sorry, Myles. I’m sorry you’re having to go through this and I’m sorry the last couple months have been really hard for you. I hate Logan dragged you along into his mess. I’m just glad it wasn’t you behind the wheel.”
How could Paige be so selfless in a time like this? She was saying sorry to Myles for a rough couple of months when she’d had the hardest time out of any of us. She had such a pure heart and with every day that passed, she kept giving me another reason to love her.
“I’m the one who should be sorry. I should have said something from the beginning. I should have told you, Declan, that I knew Logan better than I’d let on. I should have sat you both down the first moment I could. I should have done a lot differently,” he cried, clearly disturbed. This wasn’t going to be one of those things that would just go away. He was having internal struggles that he was going to need help working through.
“It’s okay, Myles. We just have to move forward with what we know now. I don’t hold anything against you, I know you didn’t have bad intentions. I just want you to work on getting yourself better, that’s all I could hope for right now.” She gave his leg a pat, stood up and slung her arms around me from behind the couch. Pulling me closer, she whispered in my ear, “I’m going to go lay down. Leave you guys here to talk a bit more. I don’t think me being around right now is what’s best for him.” Her lips touched my cheek in a quick kiss as she excused herself, leaving me and Myles alone.
I took advantage of the moment and tried to dig a little deeper with him. “Talk to me, Myles. What’s going on inside that head of yours right now?”
“I’m just trying to wrap my head around all of this. I spent the last couple months preparing myself to serve jail time when it all came crashing down. Now I don’t know what’s in store for me.”
“I think we just need to take it day by day. You were still in the car beside Logan and depending on what version of the story he gives the cops, you may not be fully out of the woods yet. ButI think it’s important we prepare for anything. I think your next step is telling Mom and Dad. You want them to hear it from you first before they hear whatever rumors are bound to be spread.”
“I just wish my memories would come back to me from that night. I want to know what was going through my mind. What did I say? How did I react? I don’t think I’ll ever know… But I’ve been thinking…” He took a deep breath as he dragged his hands down his face. “Not only do I need to break the news to Mom and Dad, but I think I need something more. Something that will help me more long term.” I have to admit it made me happy to hear he was considering getting help. I desperately wanted him to go in that direction, but I didn’t want to force it upon him. He had to come around to the idea on his own.
“You mean like rehab? Therapy?” I asked.
“I figured I’d start by going to some AA classes. I’ve never been before but I have some friends that have been to a meeting or two and it seems like a good first step. I can work on my drinking and talk to others who have fucked up because of alcohol just like me.” A small grin formed on my face. Even though we were deep in conversation, I couldn’t hide my happiness for him in that moment.
“I think that’s really big of you, man. If you ever need me there for support just let me know. I’d love to help you in any way I can. I know it’s been rough, and we’ve had our moments, but now that everything is out in the open, I think we can move on with time and move forward,” I said with hope laced in my voice.
“Thanks. I just can’t imagine ever having to feel this way again. I know I’ve struggled with booze in the past, but I think this was the wake up call I needed and I’m not going to ignore that.” I hoped he was serious. Unfortunately, I knew this kind of thing took a few times to typically succeed and people tend torelapse the second life gets hard. Especially if alcohol has always been their crutch when shit goes wrong.
Myles stood, swiping at his jeans a couple of times as if ironing out the wrinkles. “I should get going. Gotta go talk with Mom and Dad and get this over with.” Heading for the door, he pulled me in for a tight hug. Between brothers, I’m not sure the last time we bonded and had the kind of heart to heart like we did today.
“I’m proud of you, Myles. I know it’s hard to hear right now, but you’re going to get through this.” I know it seemed dark to say I was proud of him after all of the poor decisions he’d made, but I couldn’t let all of his faults outshine a good decision he was making. Going to AA and having that realization on your own was a big step in the right direction and the rest would fall into place.
Our embrace broke after a few long seconds, then he was on his way.
The door closed behind me, and I leaned with my back pressed against it. I took a deep breath and let out a sigh of relief.
Things were going to fall into place.
Eventually.
But for now, all I wanted to do was take a nap with my girl.
I feltthe bed dip when Declan crawled in to join me. “How did it go with Myles?” I mumbled, coming out of the sleepy state I was in from my nap.
He pulled my back into his chest so we were spooning and whispered gruffly in my ear, “Better than expected. He’s struggling a lot and probably will be for a while but he’s going to focus on himself for a little while.”
“Mmm, good. That makes me happy,” I murmured. The sleepiness in my voice begged to go back to sleep.
“Go back to bed, baby. We can talk more about this later,” he spoke softly into my ear.
He didn’t have to ask me twice. I was out like a light, with no idea who even fell asleep first. All I knew was when I woke up the next morning, it was early enough to catch the sunrise, but I felt more rested than I had in a long time. Our afternoon nap turned into a full night’s rest, not one of us budging the entire night.
The sun peeked over the mountain top and bled into the wide-open windows, most likely being the reason I woke up in the first place. The sheets rustled as I quietly got out of bedand tiptoed to the restroom. Hopefully, I wouldn’t wake him. He needed the sleep just as much as I did.
I crawled back in bed, returning from the bathroom to a sound asleep Declan.
Or so I thought.
