Page 9 of Final Goodbye
Little did he know, my mom was having a tough time, but not for the reasons he may think. I couldn’t help myself when the word vomit continued to spill.
“I haven’t been home in a long time. I guess things weren’t as good as my parents portrayed them to be…” Taking a deep breath and a sip of my beer, I let the secret my mom told me just hours ago slip out.?“Apparently, my dad had been cheating on my mom for years. They were waiting until Chase went off to college to get a divorce.”
A shocked look crossed his face, like he had just found out the biggest gossip of the town. Shaking his head in disbelief, he allowed me to continue divulging my family’s secrets, getting it all off my chest.
“I hate to say it, but… when I talked with my mom earlier, she almost seemed more relieved than sad. Which is hard to wrap my head around. She had been hurting for years and had already grieved the loss of her husband. When she got the news that he was in an accident, she locked herself up in her room to try to sort out her emotions. Every conversation I’ve had with eitherof them over the years never led me to this outcome. When they visited me last year in Phoenix, it must have been all for show, but everything seemed perfectly fine.”
Speaking all of this into existence had me realizing I hadn’t known my father as well as I thought. Internally, my emotions were torn, fighting a battle, trying to decide how I should feel. Grieving his loss but also trying to process that he had a double life.
“Sorry, I didn’t intend to turn this into a therapy session.” I let out a sad laugh under my breath, attempting to change the topic of conversation. “I’m gonna grab another beer, want one?” I hiked my thumb behind me, pointing to the kitchen.
“Paige…” He stopped me before I could go inside. Before I knew what was happening, his hand landed on mine, rubbing circles with his thumb over the top. His piercing blue eyes stared into mine.
“You have been through a lot in the last couple of days. More than a lot of people at this age have gone through. If you feel comfortable dumping your problems on me, I’m always here to listen. It makes me feel useful, and I hate standing by feeling helpless. If this is something that helps you, lay it on me. And to answer your question, yes. I’ll have another beer.”?The corners of his mouth tilted up just slightly, giving me a small smile.
I did my best to muster up a smile in return, hoping he read the expression on my face as my way of thanking him.
Walking back into the kitchen, I placed my hands on the countertop and tried to fight back the tears that threatened to escape. I hadn’t known how to feel when my mom dumped all of this new information on me. We all process our emotions differently, and all I knew was I wanted to have a few beers, let my mom handle the funeral arrangements, and entertain some conversation with the sexy tattooed guy currently sitting in my backyard.?
We were three beers deep when the realization hit me that my six-pack of beer was gone, and I was feeling a bit buzzed.
“So, Paige, what are you doing these days back in Phoenix?”
I couldn’t get enough of the way my name sounded rolling off his tongue. Declan’s voice was strong and rough; vastly different from the young boy I once knew.
“Well, funny story… I got let go from my bartending job. When it rains, it pours, huh?” I laughed with discomfort, hoping it came off more playful but failing miserably. Clearing my throat, I offered more context for the situation.
“I told my boss I didn’t know when I’d be able to make it back to work, and in return, she let me know she would have to fill my spot, but when I was back in town, she couldseeif there would be a spot for me. So, now I’m jobless, single, and thirty, living at my mom’s house until further notice. Clearly thriving.” I rolled my eyes and tipped my beer back, hoping for a drop of alcohol to magically appear in the empty bottle.
I didn’t know why I threw the “single” part in there, but it just added to how pathetic I currently felt. Last week, my life was completely different, and I had no idea which direction it was going to go.?
Declan, being the flirty, cheery guy that he was, added, “Well, maybe now that you have no ties to Phoenix, I’ll get to see you around more.” He shrugged, looking at me with his gaze glossed over. Deep down, those bedroom eyes had me feeling things I shouldn’t.?
I’m not here to stay.?
I can’t stay here.?
Those thoughts ran in a loop through my mind. And now, the fact that Declan’s stare was turning serious was causing a throbbing sensation between my legs that didn’t want to go away.
Time had slipped away. The sun had already gone down, and I didn’t want the alcohol to make my decisions for me, so I tried to find an excuse to end this unexpected hang out.?
Even though, secretly, I didn’t want to.
“Yeah, maybe.” Standing up, I let out a big yawn. “It’s getting late. I’m sure you have things to do before work tomorrow.”?
He took the hint. “You’re right. I have a hot shower calling my name. It was good talking to you, Paige…” he paused before finishing, “I wasn’t lying about hoping I’d see you around.” He stood up and set his empty beer bottle on the table.
It was unexpected when he pulled me in for a long hug; a hug I didn’t know I needed. His lips rested on the top of my head for a moment, then he whispered, “I’ll always be here for you when you need someone to talk to, Paige.”
Normally, a move like that would be a bit forward. But from him, it was sweet, and quite frankly, I had chills running down my spine.?
Walking back inside, it was dark. Time had gotten away from us. I desperately needed a night like this, just getting lost in conversation and drinking beer. I didn’t have many memories of nights like these from Phoenix. Don’t get me wrong, I had plenty of nights drinking with my roommate, but the conversation always seemed to stay surface level.
I found the switch on the wall and turned the lights on so we could head back to the front door, where he had placed his mud-covered shoes earlier.?
He slipped his shoes on while I hugged the door, staying close to it to hide my nerves and my perky nipples. It’s not like this was a date, but it felt like that moment where you’d question if the first kiss was about to happen or not.?
He grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me in for another hug. Before I could process what he was doing, his lips found my cheek, pressing a feather-light kiss against my skin.?
