Page 65 of Final Goodbye
Logan: I’ll be there. But leave your bodyguard at home.
I wanted Declan there. He made me feel safe. But if it meant Logan giving me some answers, then I would leave him out of it. We were meeting in public so the chances of Logan doing anything crazy were slim.
Declan and I laid quietly in bed, exhausted from the long day. My face was puffy from all of the crying, and I couldn’t help but think over how my day had gone as a whole. It started off as one of the best days I had since being back home, and it ended on the complete other side of the spectrum.
I turned onto my side, one hand under my head on the pillow and the other reached out on Declan’s chest. “You know my dad’s favorite holiday used to be Thanksgiving,” I reflected.
Declan turned his head at the sound of my voice. He took my hand in his, turning to lay on his side as well so we were both looking at each other. “Tell me about your favorite Thanksgiving with him.”
It would be hard talking about my favorite Thanksgiving when I just experienced my worst. But if I was going to open up to anyone, it would be Declan. My dad wasn’t here anymore and there were a lot of unanswered questions, but he deserved to be alive in my memories.
“I was fifteen,” I started, swallowing the lump forming in my throat. “Chase was really young and giving Mom a hard time—in his “terrible twos”. She didn’t want to cook an elaborate meal, so we picked up pizzas for Thanksgiving dinner. She stayed back at home with Chase while Dad and I left to pick everything up. I was excited to leave the house and have some one-on-one time with my dad. Chase was so young that it was hard for me to get any time alone with my parents then. But I had my driver's permit so I asked Dad if I could drive.” I hadn’t told this storybefore, just thought about it, especially recently. I cleared my throat, trying to fight off the emotions building inside me.
“He tossed me the keys to the truck, and I remember being so scared to drive it. The truck was so high off the ground, and it felt so big. But Dad put his full trust in me; it also helped that the roads were practically empty with it being a holiday. He let me choose the music since I was the one driving. I remember putting on the country radio station when a song by Trace Adkins played. Dad sang along in a deep raspy voice that I always loved the sound of. Mom used to say in another life he’d be a country singer. She always thought he was a doppelganger of Alan Jackson. Anyway, sorry I’m getting off on a tangent…”
“Hey, it’s okay. Keep going,” Declan encouraged as he rubbed my arm to sooth me.
“Anyway, the song that came on, it was calledYou’re Gonna Miss This. The song played out and Dad looked over at me and said, ‘This song makes me think of you’. I never really paid attention to the lyrics until the day my dad told me that. So, I asked him about the song, what made him think of me? His response was,‘You’re so eager to grow up and get out of here. One day it will flash before your eyes and be gone. All of these simple moments you take for granted will be gone and you’ll want it all back’.I think his words hit a lot closer to home now than they did then. I always remembered that private conversation between us—and he was right. I was so eager to turn eighteen and get out of Colorado one day. But now I’m back and he isn’t here. I took it all for granted and I do want it back.” The tears from earlier were back. I was a sobbing mess, mentally and physically exhausted from the emotions that had washed over me in the last few hours.
“Shhh… It’s okay. You don’t need to keep talking about it. Get everything out, baby. I’m not going anywhere.” He held me tightin his arms, just like he had earlier and let me cry it out on his chest.
“Promise? Promise you’re not going anywhere?” I pleaded. I couldn’t lose someone else in my life. Not now.
“I promise, Paige. If anything, you have every reason to leave me and that terrifies me. But I’m not going anywhere. I told you, you’re it for me, through the good, bad and everything in-between.”
He held me all night long, scratching my back and trying to comfort me as I fell asleep in any way he could. Eventually, I drifted off only to wake up the next morning dreading having to meet up with Logan.
I wanted the answers, but I didn’t want to have to get them from him.
I hadto beg Declan to let me leave the house alone. Logan requested he wasn’t there, and as sick as I felt leaving him behind, he looked even sicker when I walked out of his house without him. We compromised when I shared my location with him through my phone. Even though he knew we were only going to the coffee shop, he said he didn’t trust Logan, and neither did I.
When I got toMugs, Logan wasn’t there yet. I must have arrived first, so I ordered a much-needed coffee. Hannah remembered my order per usual. I tried to find the most secluded table in the busy coffee shop. Everyone was out and about doing their Black Friday shopping, so the options were scarce. I didn’t want to be alone with Logan, but I also didn’t want this conversation to be overheard. I found a booth in the corner that looked private enough.
I spotted Logan ordering his coffee, he arrived just a couple minutes after I did, and I hesitated to wave him over. With it being a small town, I didn’t want people to notice us here together and get the wrong idea.
I didn’t have to wave him over when he found me in the corner, looking as smug as he sounded through text last night. He made his way over and I internally beat myself up for ever finding this man attractive. Once you got to know someone’s true personality, it really worked wonders on how you perceived their appearance.
“Not even gonna stand up and greet me with a hug?” He looked down at me sitting with that shit-eating grin plastered across his face.
“Logan, we aren’t here to hang out and shoot the shit. There are things we need to talk about, and you know we aren’t on the level of greeting each other with hugs and pleasantries.”
“So why are we here then, Paige? You mean you didn’t want to grab coffee and catch up like old friends?” he asked as he finally took a seat across from me.
I spun my coffee cup around in my hands, feeling the comforting warmth escape the mug.
“I asked you to meet me to talk about your friendship with Myles Cooper. But I’m sure you already knew that,” I said matter-of-factly.
“Ahh, so I’m assuming he finally came out and talked with that boyfriend of yours…”
“What does Declan even have to do with this? Why force Myles to tell Declan over anyone else?” I asked, cutting in.
“I have my reasons. You being one of them.” He sat back, crossing one leg over the other, trying to give off the persona that he was relaxed and this was just a normal conversation between friends. What was that even supposed to mean? Why did everything have to be so complicated with Logan? God, he wasinfuriating.
“What do I have to do with this?” I asked, playing dumb.
He leaned forward with a serious expression on his face. “Myles ruined your family with his idiotic actions. He kept thissecret to himself, and I was just trying to encourage him to tell the truth. That family isn’t good news, Paige. I’m just looking out for you, trying to do the right thing.” He never cared to look out for me before, why the fuck would he be doing that now?
“Are you on your meds, Logan?” I asked flat out.
