Page 7 of Final Temptation
Good one, Sophie.
Myles: You’re avoiding the question, Sophie. Why did you message me?
Jesus, this man is persistent.
Me: You want the truth?
Myles: Nothing but the truth.
How come the truth seemed so…complicated? Sure, I was lonely. But not only in the sexual sense. Yes, I craved the company of a hot guy, but I also craved conversation and someone to simply hang out with.
Ever since I’d been out of work, life had a sense of quiet that felt crippling. I wasn’t normally the vulnerable type. My crutch was my upbeat, bubbly personality. People wereso used to judging me based on their first impression, they really had no idea about the thoughts and insecurities that ran through my head on a daily basis.
The screen between us gave me a different kind of confidence. I felt like I could say anything, and if he decided to judge me for it, I’d continue with what I had been doing—avoiding him in person.Duh.
Me: I was lonely. I wasn’t necessarily looking for a booty call. I was just bored. Craving company. I’m not sure if you’re aware, but I stopped working at Peaks a couple months ago and I’ve had very limited interactions with people these days. I was just lonely, as dumb as that sounds.
I shot off one more text, trying to laugh off the shift inour conversation.
Me: I also had one martini too many tonight, so you could say my mind isn’t fully right.
Pulling my plush white comforter up to my chest, my heart pounded, and my fingernails desperately needed a manicure. I’d bitten them down to the quick as I waited for his message.
Why do I care so much what Myles thinks? Why do I suddenly feel like he can see straight through my phone screen and sense every worry line etched in my forehead?
Myles: That’s not dumb at all. I can relate to the feeling of loneliness.
I scoffed at my screen, my fingers working quick to respond.
Me: You? Myles Cooper? The man with an overflowing black book to keep you company is lonely?
Myles: Fair. But just because I’ve kept myself busy, doesn’t mean I’m not lonely. If I remember right, about six months ago I told you all those women had been an excuse to fill a void.
Me: I do recall you saying something about an empty feeling…
I was insanely drunk that night, but I recall our interaction so often that the small details are easily memorable. Sinking deeper into my lush bedding, the memory of that night almost swallowed me whole.
Myles: It gets lonely around here when your world flips upside down. When all the people you used to consider friends, you can no longer hang around because they aren’t what you need in your life. Or when you cut yourself off from the one thing that used to make the time go by so fast that you would forget if you were happy, sad, lonely or mad.
Fuck. I had to admit this sudden vulnerability dump felt good. Chatting with someone who could understand me on this level was rare. But I also felt like such an ass for mentioning I was drinking. I didn’t even think twice about Myles being sober, when that should have been the first thing on my mind.
Me: Fuck, Myles. I’m so sorry I brought up the drinks I’ve had tonight…and I didn’t even take a second to think if that would make you feel uncomfortable or not.
Myles: It’s all good. I’m getting better at being around it and hearing people talk about it. I don’t want to control what others do just because I’m weak when it comes to alcohol.
Me: Still, I should have thought about it.
My palm found my forehead. I’d always been blunt, saying anything that came to mind. While this was something I loved about myself, it was definitely a downfall in moments like this.Talk about a foot-in-mouth moment if I’ve ever seen one.
Myles: No worries. What’s up with you not working at the bar anymore?
Me: You mean you haven’t heard? My dad fired me.
Myles: I’ve clearly missed a lot the last few months. Mind filling me in?
Me: My dad has always wanted me to take over the bar when he retired. Since it’s just me and him, I think he always assumed it would stay in the family. When Paige started working at Peaks and I was able to have more time off, it gave me a moment to think and reflect. I didn’t really want to work at the bar for the rest of my life.
Myles: I can understand that. What is it that you want to do?
