Page 51 of Off the Charts
I sat with her words for a minute. “I hear you, sissy.”
“You better!” Valen said. She took a swig of her energy drink. “I know this shit will make your day,” she sighed, and my eyes perked up. “I’ve been thinking long and hard. I think I’m going to see Coretta,” she called our mother by her real name. It was rare that we called her mama in conversation with one another. It was either her street or government name.
“I was not expecting you to say that. It’s gone snow in hell. What changed your mind?”
Her shoulders went up and down. “Well, I do know. Devon and I were talking about how he lost his mom unexpectedly. He still has days where he just cries, and they were on good terms. Since then, I have been thinking how would I feel if somebody shanked Sticky’s ass to death,” she demonstrated a quick stabbing motion. It wasn’t supposed to be funny, but V would have a straight face while saying the wildest shit. “Would I cry? Would I go to her funeral? Would I live with regret? I answered yes to all three questions, so I’ma go see her especially before she gets sentenced. Ain’t no telling where they gone ship her ass to.”
I stopped typing and tugged at my beard. That was something to think about. It was easy having Sticky close, but the system has the power to place her anywhere. A lot would change so we had to prepare for the unknown.
“First, I applaud you for taking that step. I know she left visible and invisible scars, but I pray the two of you can gain a relationship if that’s what you want.”
“I don’t know what I want, but I am willing to try. I plan to go up there next week.”
“Do you need me to go with you?”
Valen sighed. “At first, I did, but we need to talk one on one. I don’t want the mother and apologetic version of her yet. I wantthe mutha’fucka who left us for the streets first. I want Sticky. Then, I will work my way up to where she is now as a woman who just so happens to be my mother, and I don’t need you to be a referee for that. I need to wear my big girl drawls, and I got some big granny panties,” she chuckled.
I laughed but knew she was deflecting and trying not to cry. “Proud of you, V. If you change your mind, let me know. I pray you get everything you expect out of it.”
“Me too.” She looked out my window, sighing. “Look, I know I talk shit and get on your nerves, but you are the best big brother a girl can ask for. I don’t give you enough credit and I’m sorry for going off on you when you were in the mountains.”
I waved my hand. “I’an thinking about that, V.”
“Because you’re selfless, Vayce. You had no clue what a menstrual was, but you taught me anyway. There were nights you starved but made sure I had at least a piece of bread. I missed so many moments with Sticky not being around, but we don’t talk about how many you missed because you spent your childhood being a father, mother, and brother when you were never supposed to,” she allowed the tears to fall. I stood, rounding my desk and pulled her into my arms. “I’ve been teasing you about Jersei ‘cause for the first time, I see how free you are. Yes, you’ve been free in the mind, but she has unleashed your heart. Not even LaBrina did that. I want you to get back all the years you lost and anytime she’s the topic of the conversation, I see twelve-year-old Vayce and all his happiness. Please promise me you won’t miss out on the love you deserve this time.”
I cleared my throat feeling the tears hit it. “V, I’d do it all over again today if I had to. I wouldn’t have wanted my life to fall any other way because I wouldn’t be who I am today. You’re right. I did miss out. I was in roles I shouldn’t have been, but I’ve healed and let that hurt go ‘cause at the end of the day, Sticky was livingwhile we were hurting. The world teaches you everything, how to hide, how to fuck, how to get over, but niggas don’t tell you how to deal with the tear-stained pillow or that ache in your chest. I got tired of feeling broken every fucking day while the world kept going. Forgiveness is hard as a mutha’fucka, V. I’an saying the shit gone happen tomorrow or even within a month, but I do know that it’s worth the peace on the other side. Get that. As far as love, I can promise to get what is given to me and more.”
She nodded against my chest. I kissed the top of her head and hugged her tighter. I wished every sibling had the bond we shared. She annoyed me like no other, but I wouldn’t trade her. “And do you promise to give me a niece and four nephews?”
I playfully pushed her away from me and we shared a laugh. “You run the hell out man.”
Valen and I completed about twenty percent of the room. Somehow, she’d made a cart for things for the office that was damn near three stacks and used my card for it. We ate the lunch Jersei sent and I’d knocked out half my list and was preparing to head to my last stop of the day.
“Do you know that nigga called me from a fake number asking for his ring back?”
I peered at her. “Would you like for him to disappear?”
“Vayce,” she put her hands on her hips. “Does death really solve everything?” Valen whispered.
“Ninety percent of the time, absolutely,” I answered in all seriousness. “So, is that a yes? Matter of fact. I got it.” I grabbed my phone only for her to snatch it, but my wheels were already turning.
“Bubby please. Devon and I are good. I took that ring to a store at Wright and Sage and put the money in my account. Fuck that nigga.” Her phone started to ring from her purse. She tucked mine in her pocket then retrieved hers. Valen gasped,doing a little dance and answered, code-switching. “Denver Estate Group.”
Her eyes wandered then landed on me. “This is she.” She covered the phone then mouthed, “This them.”
I circled my desk then leaned against it watching her pace the room. I wanted to tell her to put it on speaker, but she was in full business mode. My hands clasped together.
“Are you serious?” Valen smiled, bucking her large eyes at me. “Wow. That is amazing news. Thank you. I am super excited for this project. Awesome. Will do. I will tell him. Bye.” She ended the call and smiled at me in silence. She knew how to get under my skin.
“V, what the fuc?—”
“We got it!” She squealed, jumping up and down. “I cannot believe this shit! Yes!”
And there it was. I clapped my hands twice, releasing a heavy breath. We’ve been working on this for longer than expected and now, we could put it behind us. I pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of her head. I was hoping this would change everything.
“You did it. You the best at this shit when you wanna be,” I teased. “Thank you, V.”
“Yeah, whatever nigga. Congratulations. Now, thank me by taking me shopping. Thank youuu!”
