Page 11 of Off the Charts
“Of course, baby. Tell your father bye.”
He threw his hand up and practically ran to the car, and I was steps behind him.
“Jersei,” he called after me. I turned, watching him dig his hands in his pockets. “I’ll do better.”
“You do that.” I placed my thumb on my ear and extended my pinky to my mouth. “Remember, I’ll call you,” I winked before hopping in the car.
I looked at Zion from the rearview mirror. “You okay?”
“I didn’t expect Dad to react that way,” he admitted. “But I’m okay and I would rather talk about this later if that’s okay with you.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes ma’am.”
Respecting his wishes, I turned the radio up slightly to fill the silence in the car. Where we live now was about ten minutes away from Solomon in West Harvest Hills.
Zion’s soft voice broke through the silence of the car.
“Mom?”
I glanced at him in the mirror. “Yes, baby?”
“Do you hate Daddy?”
I thought long and hard on his question. I didn’t hate his father, and I never will, but did I dislike him? Absolutely and my son deserved to know the truth.
“No Zy, I don’t hate your dad, no. That is a strong word that comes with some very strong feelings. Your father did some very hurtful things to me that has in return caused me to have a very strong disdain for him.” He was silent so I looked in the rearview mirror to get a better look at his confused face. Zy was a smart kid, so if I really wanted to tell him what happened, I could, but that wasn’t my place.
“Do you remember when you and Thomas stopped being friends for a while after he embarrassed you on the field trip?”
“Yes. I remember, but I forgave him. Is that how you will forgive Daddy too?”
“Let’s pump the brakes a little. I don’t know about that, baby,” I chuckled. “Because if I’m being honest, you should’ve whooped Thomas’ ass too.”
Zy chuckled and it warmed my heart finally seeing him smile. “Thomas is cool now, but me and him will never be back like we were. He was trying to be cool for everyone but that really hurt my feelings,” he shook his head, looking back out the window as if he was replaying the day.
“That is how I feel about your dad. What he did was hurtful. It’s like thinking you know someone and all their ways and then they show you otherwise. Once they show you who they are, believe them. Sometimes we see shit with our own two eyes and still turn a blind eye to it. If they did it once, they will do it again, so why keep them in your life when they don’t value you the same way you do them?” I deeply exhaled. “All that to say, I respect him and we can love each other, but from a distance. A far one.”
Zy was silent for a few beats. There was a bit of traffic so I couldn’t turn and look at him, but I could feel him staring at me.
“Was she pretty mama?”
I mashed the brakes, causing us both to jerk forward. “Wh—Who Zy?”
“Daddy’s new girlfriend. I heard a little of the argument and the only time someone leaves is if they get deployed or when they are being very sneaky and have two or three people in their life that they are trying to hide and Dad doesn’t even have a gun, Mommy or military clothing. So, was she pretty?”
Lying wasn’t in the cards. I believed that the way to build a trustworthy relationship with anybody in your life was through honesty and communication. My son was no different.
“I never got to see her face son,” I said truthfully. “But whoever your father chooses will make him very happy, but that person is no longer me.”
“Then the person you choose will make you very happy too.”
“Thank you, Zy,” I smirked, reaching back to rub his little curls. “How abouttt, we go get a twenty-piece hot honey rubfrom The Chicken Hut then get a big,” I demonstrated how large with my hands, “Tub of sorbet and watch Crooklyn before school tomorrow?”
“Yes!” He cheered. “But Mama, can you get your own wings this time? I am becoming a grown man, and kid’s meals don’t fill me up. Plus, sometimes you eat like a man, so maybe we get a thirty piece.”
I hollered so loud and peered at him over my shoulder. “Boy! I do not eat like no man!”
