Page 81 of Sinful as They Come
“I take it from that answer that you’ve known for a while then.” She sniffled.
I rubbed at my neck harder. “I guess you could say that.”
“Some of them were my friends. A lot of them are on the cheer team. Girls I sit next to in class. Gorgeous, pretty girls. Girls that I don’t look anything like...” Her voice trailed as her eyes shut tight. “I hate myself so much right now.”
Holly buried her face in her hands at that. She shook next to me, her neat ponytail bobbing up and down a little. It was a stark difference to the confident girl I knew who didn’t take shit from me. Carter had well andtruly broken her. He had stolen her pride and confidence and crushed it into nothing. I felt rage on her behalf because of that. Holly didn’t deserve that. No matter what our past was like, Carter had no right making Holly feel that low. She was the most beautiful girl in school, and none of the cheerleaders he fucked held a candle to her. Didn’t she know that? Or did Carter really mess with her head that much?
“Holly…” I let out. God, I was tempted to hug her. To pull her to me, to let her know that she wasn’t the fuck up, that Carter was fully responsible, that none of those girls had a thing on her. But she spoke up before I could even think about my next move.
“And they all just… They all just lied to my face while they laughed behind my back at the same time,” she continued. “Carter too. I can’t… How stupid am I?”
“You can do better than him, Holly,” I whispered. “You’re not stupid for trying to see the best in him. Carter’s a manipulative asshole. He was probably telling you all the right things. It’s not your fault.”
“Everyone knew but me.”
“That’s what he wanted. He knew what he was doing.”
“How come you didn’t tell me?” She sat up slowly. “You hate me. You love hurting me. It would have been so easy for you to tell me and break my heart. Why didn’t you?”
“I wouldn’t wanna break your heart, Holly,” I muttered. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I should have said something.”
She nodded and wiped at her eyes, sniffling there in her spot. “I have to sit next to Jennifer Katz in history. Who, apparently, had caught the eye of my boyfriend at that party.”
I guessed that Jennifer Katz was the girl I had seen Carter with on Friday night. Seeing Carter with her had triggered some weird, protective side of me that filled me up with an uncontrollable anger I couldn’t put a lid on. Punching him had been worth it.
“I have a girl cousin who can beat her up for you,” I offered. “She lives about an hour from here. But she’ll do it.”
For the first time in what seemed like a long time, I saw Holly smile. Sheeven laughed, letting out the smallest of giggles despite her still wet eyes and tear-stained cheeks. It was a nice sound.
“Thanks for the offer, but I think I’ll just pretend like she doesn’t exist… Along with the dozens of other girls that Carter just couldn’t keep his hands off of…”
“Forget about them,” I told her seriously. “Forget about him too. Don’t let this shit get to you. That’s what he wants. Don’t give him what he wants. You’re not gonna be here forever, Holly. You won’t see these people anymore, and you won’t remember any of this pain.”
I only realized then how close Holly and me were sitting together. Her much smaller shoulder brushed up against mine, and I was so close that I could take in the scent of her perfume. That sweet, floral-like smell. I hated how much I liked it. Coughing a little, I suddenly stood up. Holly gave me a wide-eyed, surprised look. She seemed to understand then just how close we had been sitting as well.
It wasn’t meant to be that way.
“I gotta catch up with Brodie. I’ll, uh, see you in class or something.”
“Bye,” Holly whispered, her chin back in her hands. She looked ahead of her again, back to staring off aimlessly at the flowers in front of her, like none of what I said had mattered.
I let her get lost in her thoughts. She would get over Carter. Eventually.
Chapter 27
HOLLY
Jennifer kept smirking at me. She seemed more than happy about what had taken place over the weekend. All I could do was focus on Mrs. Wayne at the front of the class, and ignore the stupid ‘Holly + Carter’ scribbles that I had at the front of my notebook. I spent the first few minutes of class crossing them out and preparing myself to see the same scribbles in all my other notebooks. It was just one more thing I had to remove from my life that involved Carter.
I hadn’t even gotten started on all the photos I had of him. They were scattered around my room. On my dressing table, on the walls, in my photo albums I was planning on keeping forever. Carter was there, in so many aspects of my life. When I woke up I would literally count down the minutes until school started so I could see him, and at night I would hope that all my dreams revolved around him.
It seemed I wasn’t as important to him as he was to me. It seemed like I was nothing but a second thought. Just a girl he could string along for the hell of it. Our relationship had been a game to him. Despite my devotion to him, all I got was a slap in the face. The stinging had yet to fade, and honestly, it felt like it was never going to end.
The bell rang, the shrill noise startling me. I had barely focused in class. Whatever Mrs. Wayne said had already been forgotten. Hell, I had barely taken in her words in the first place.
I rubbed at my swollen eyes for a second before packing my bag, so readyto get some fresh air, even if it was only from the few minutes of my walk to the next class.
“Ya know,” Jennifer said next to me, her voice laced with confidence and her lips turned up into a smirk. “I always felt so bad for you. ‘Cause of Carter and everything. It was so hard hooking up with him when he was with you… You took up so much of his time. What I’m trying to say is… Well, thanks for sharing him with all of us. Like,allof us.”
