Page 104 of Sinful as They Come
Chapter 37
SAWYER
It had been almost an entire week since me and Holly kissed. And I had spent literally every single day thinking about it. And avoiding her. I couldn’t talk to her… I couldn’t. Not yet. I didn’t know what to say.
I had a hunger for her. For those big eyes and soft lips. For her sweet smile and soft laugh. For her pink cheeks and airy voice.
How the hell did I get addicted to her so quickly?
It was the kiss. And everything else. All those moments we had spent together. Quiet, awkward encounters where I had seen her with frowns and wet eyes. Something I certainly wasn’t used to seeing.
And she had seen me… Bruised by the hands of my own father. Empty fridge. Empty pantry. Old, worn-out jacket. A trailer that had seen more bad days than good. And she still had never judged me for any of that stuff. Did it not matter to her at all? She had accepted Brodie with a smile and open arms. But me? Where was the warm welcoming for me the first time we met?
Well, we had history. I was damaged from the get-go. Bitter and angry and ready to take all of that out on anyone who looked my way. For some reason, it felt like Holly was always looking. We had never gotten along. Never saw eye to eye – and how could we ever? She was the pretty, pristine princess. And I was – as Carter liked to put it – trailer park trash.
That was in the past, though. We had both moved on and apologized for the years and years of fighting and insults and anger.
But…
How the fuck was it ever gonna work? What was I even thinking? Whywouldit work? Why would Holly ever want someone like me when she could have someone like Carter? I still couldn’t believe how he had someone like her and still managed to throw it all away.
I let out a loud sigh, thankful no one was around to hear it. It was almost six and the library was close to being deserted. I didn’t have a shift tonight, but me and Brodie were getting tighter and tighter on money. My brain felt drained from worrying about paying rent and bills. Then there was the project that had been consuming so much of my time, and now…
Now the kiss was at the forefront of my mind. Holly wasn’t going anywhere. Truthfully, I didn’t want her to leave. I had been so focused on Holly the last few days. Just her and her only. I wanted to talk to her. I wanted to kiss her again and again and feel her right up against me.
I shook my head, noting all the dry paint on my hands as my craving for a cigarette took over. No smoking in the library. I hated that rule. My hand dug through my jeans pocket for my lighter, in dire need of that sweet, dangerous smoke. I made a quick escape out of the room, determined to get to the front as soon as I could. But then I saw something so much more addicting than a cigarette.
Holly was there. She disappeared in between two bookshelves, and my feet moved before I could control myself. Eagerness was taking over. I needed her close again. I didn’t even hate that part of me anymore. I had accepted the fact that I felt something for Holly that I had never felt before.
Rounding one of the shelves, I stopped in my tracks when I got to her. She stood there, fingers tracing over the spines of a few books. All I could do was watch as she grabbed one and turned around until we were face to face.
Holly stood in front of me like a fucking angel. Her hair was down, framing her face as the light behind her created an alluring glow. Her eyes looked brighter thanks to the sun. I couldn’t tell if she was blushing or if it was just from the late afternoon heat. All I knew was that what I had said to Brodie the other day was the truth – Holly was the prettiest girl in thefucking world.
“Sawyer… Hi. You’re here kinda late,” she said softly.
“They got me working hard.” I shrugged, offering her a small smile. I had missed the sound of her voice. The soft, sweet, honey-dripping tone. “About to go home now.”
“Oh.”
Was that all she was gonna say?
“Oh?” I mirrored back to her.
“Oh… Okay,” she said with an uncomfortable laugh.
I rubbed at the back of my neck. “You usually have a lot to say, Holly.”
“What do you mean?” She frowned.
I turned to the side, hoping the books would somehow help us through the incredibly tense moment.
“Are we gonna talk about it?” I asked her lowly.
“About what?” She shrugged at me, but her eyes were wide and she was wearing a tiny pout. Holly wasn’t good at playing dumb. She knew exactly what I was talking about, and as uncomfortable as it was, I wasn’t going to shy away from our little encounter.
I sucked in a sharp breath. “Are you mad at me?”
“Mad?” Her head tilted.
