Page 82 of Sinful as They Come
I looked up, my eyes welling up with tears again as I stared at Jennifer and her friends. Candice Williams sent me a wink and Melanie Perry was wearing a little grin. They were two more girls to add to Carter’s long list of people he cheated on me with. I felt my heart ache as the horrifying images filled up in my brain. Carter kissing them, their limbs all tangled up, in Carter’s bed. God, I felt like I was going to vomit.
Why did he have to hurt me so much?
The girls laughed in unison and I darted past them, desperate for escape. I had English class next, but I needed a break. Some air. Something to distract me from the awful images of Carter kissing every girl that wasn’t me and God, he truly picked the worst possible way to break my heart.
I was just going to duck out for a minute. Just for a short moment to get some fresh air. Moving outside, I felt the tiniest bit of peace as I felt the early afternoon rays hit my skin. A hand on my shoulder made me jump, though. Spinning around, I saw Annie staring back at me with sad eyes.
“Hey,” she said softly.
“Hi,” I answered. Was she one of the girls who had slept with my boyfriend too? That was an image I really, really didn’t want in my head.
“I didn’t get to talk to you properly the other night at Lucas’ party. When we dropped you off, you were just so upset. You didn’t say anything the whole car ride to your place,” she said softly.
“I didn’t know where my brain was after I found out what he did,” I confessed, my eyes on the ground. “I still don’t really know where it is.”
“Holly.” Annie wrapped her arms around me, pulling me to her. “I’m sorry. I heard what he did. I’m so sorry.”
“I was so dumb,” I let out with a sob, pressing my face into her shoulder. “Why was I so dumb?”
“No, you weren’t. Don’t say that. He’s the one who screwed up. Don’t blame yourself for this. For anything that he did to you.” Annie held me that little bit tighter, her body radiating with warmth. “Please.”
“I don’t even know what other girls he cheated on me with,” I whispered, feeling paranoia take over as I heard Sawyer’s voice in my head.God, he’s probably fucking the whole cheerleading team.Please don’t let Annie be one of those girls. Please, please, please. “I don’t know which girls stabbed me in the back and which didn’t. So many girls on the cheer team… Annie.”
“I was not one of them.” Annie pulled away from me, grabbing my shoulders. She shook her head at me. “I swear. I was not one of those girls. And if I knew what he had been doing, I would have been the first one to help you kick them off the team. And physically kick them too.”
“You didn’t know either?”
Annie shook her head. “No. I would have told you if I knew. I wish I did. He had the both of us fooled. He’s good at sneaking around, I guess. God, I have class with him now. I’m gonna slap him so hard…”
My heart was filled up with the tiniest bit of relief knowing that my best friend hadn’t betrayed me. At least I had that going for me. It was a sad accomplishment, but still, there was at least one person I could trust.
“Don’t let him bring you down,” whispered Annie. “And don’t you dare take the blame for his mistakes.”
“I just feel so… Why did he have to do this?” I buried my face in my hands, letting Annie pull me back into another hug. She rocked us back and forth, the sensation wonderfully soothing, but still not quite enough to fix the ache in my heart.
“You’ll get over this. You will. I promise you that you will,” she said.
She sounded so confident when she said that. But I still didn’t quite believe her.
Chapter 28
HOLLY
I was going to have to sit down and eat lunch by myself. It felt so stupidly alienating, and I understood that it sounded trivial. But it was just another reminder of the fact that Carter had ripped my heart in two.
It wasn’t just him that I couldn’t trust, though. It was the entire school. Who else had Carter cheated on me with? How many girls? Which girls wished that Carter had cheated on me with them? Who was lining up now that he was single? It wasn’t like being in a relationship stopped Carter, though.
My eyes shut. Even his name was enough to make me feel that ache in my chest. But Carter had not just broken my heart. He had turned me into a suspicious, anxious mess.
Gripping the red tray tightly in my hands, I scanned the crowd in the cafeteria. It felt like everyone was staring at me. Some girls definitely were. There wasn’t a single face that seemed friendly. I saw smirks and fingers pointed at me and heard giggles and whispers. Annie couldn’t even have lunch with me since she was in detention. She had kept her word and had indeed slapped Carter.
“Holly!” I heard a voice call out.
It was Brodie. He had his hand up, a warm smile on his face. His cousin was right there by his side.
“Come sit with us!” he continued.
There was no way Sawyer would want me to sit with them. We had thatawkward moment during the morning. He had seen me cry three times now, and each time revolved around Carter. I had an awful feeling that he was enjoying my pain.
