Page 95 of Sinful as They Come
“Because you didn’t deserve that,” Sawyer mumbled. “And I hate seeing girls cry.”
I frowned. “You hate seeing girls cry?” That was an unexpected fun fact about Sawyer Westbrook.
“It’s dumb,” he said with a mutter, looking away from my gaze.
“I promise I won’t judge.”
“There’s a reason why you and me always fought over stupid shit. You always stood up for yourself too. You were never afraid to get in my face. But I never pushed you about anything serious. I never brought up anything that would really hurt you.”
Carter, I thought. He knew about that, but he never shoved it in my facedespite all the opportunities he had.
“Seeing girls cry… It brings out this… Protective side of me,” he explained. “It makes me wanna drop everything and help ‘em. If I have to kick someone’s ass, then I’ll do it. And when I saw you that night, knowing what Carter was doing to you, and then I saw your face... I wanted to kill him. Right then and there,” Sawyer hissed, shifting in his seat. “I should have done it.”
“Then you’d be in prison, and not just dealing with a suspension,” I said.
“Worth it. Absolutely worth it.”
“I had no idea I was going to learn that Sawyer Westbrook hates seeing girls cry today,” I told him softly. Who knew he was so sensitive? “I mean that in a good way.”
Sawyer rubbed at his face. “I think it comes back to my mom.”
“What… What happened?” It was none of my business, but he kept bringing her up, and I wanted to learn more about Sawyer. “If you don’t mind me asking…”
There was silence for a while, and for a second I regretted the question, but Sawyer finally spoke up. His voice was so low, so quiet. “Her and my dad would fight every day,” Sawyer mumbled, his green eyes on the table. “About everything. Money, his drinking, the bills, the rent. I was young, but I remember all the arguments. The screaming. How violent it could get.” Sawyer hands turned into fists on the table. “I wanted to protect her. I wanted so badly to look after her. But I was a fucking kid. She tried to deal with him. But she got sick of his shit. Most people are sick of his shit. She took off one day. I don’t blame her. I’d run away from my dad too. But fuck… I wish she could have taken me with her. She got re-married eventually. I’ve tried to reach out to her. She wants nothing to do with her old life. I can’t even hate her for it. I wish I could. It would make me miss her less…”
My eyes felt wet. God, was I crying? I blinked, not wanting to make the situation about myself. My hand landed on Sawyer’s and squeezed at it and his eyes finally met mine. Sawyer was so much more than I had realized. Why hadn’t I seen it sooner?
“I’m sorry,” I said quietly. “I don’t know what else to tell you. I’m sorry you had to go through that. And I’m sorry your mom had to deal with it as well. Life hasn’t been fair to you. I wish I could change that for you. I wish I could make things better…”
Sawyer’s green eyes ran up and down my body for a moment. “It would be nice if we all just got what we wanted, huh?”
We spent the rest of the late afternoon eating, and when it was time to do the dishes, Sawyer practically banished me to the dining room. Part of me wanted to see what his bedroom looked like; instead I focused on placing the remaining stir fry into some takeaway containers so he’d have left overs. When we were done, Sawyer walked me to my car.
“Thanks for this,” Sawyer said, hands stuffed into his jacket pockets. “For the groceries. For the dinner. For the talk…”
I smiled at him. “You’re more than welcome, Sawyer. Thanks for telling me about your mom.” And then I did something I had never, ever done in my life. I rested my hands on Sawyer’s broad shoulders, stood on the tips of my toes, and gave him a slow kiss to his cheek. My lips stayed there on his warm skin. I could feel him tense under my hands, under the soft grip I had on him. The kiss was soft and lingering, and as I hesitantly pulled away from him, I looked right onto his eyes.
He had such nice eyes…
“Bye,” I said softly.
“Bye, Holly.” His voice was just as low. Just as soft. It was barely a whisper, but suddenly, the noise went straight to my heart.
And as I drove off, the sun setting slowly in the distance, I could have sworn I saw the smallest of smiles on Sawyer’s face in the rear-view mirror. I wanted so badly to see it again and again.
Chapter 33
SAWYER
I had spent the entire week fixing cars instead of doing the school work I was meant to be doing. Marve had been a little pissed at me for getting suspended at first. But when I told him why, he let that go. He was also able to give me a couple extra shifts when I told him my dad had fucked off with all my money. Marve was cool. He usually looked after the people that worked for him, and that made me wanna work harder. Lindsey scolded me as well when she found out – something Caleb found hilarious – and went into mother mode, but I had been expecting that.
The morning shift went by slowly like most of them did. Sunday mornings in Cedar Crest were mostly sleepy and lazy, but I wasn’t complaining. After spending four hours at Marve’s, I said goodbye to the guys before I made my way to the library.
It was more Brodie’s scene. But I had to meet someone there to get started on the whole painting thing. I had talked to Eric a few days ago and agreed to the whole deal. I was only in it for the money. And I needed it bad. Not just because dad had run off with all my cash. No. Things were hard in general. Rent, bills, food. It all added up. If I could get some money that could at least help me and Brodie out temporarily, then I’d be happy.
Pulling up into the library, the first car I noticed out the front was one that looked a lot like Holly’s. Was she here?
Holly… She was everywhere these days. Mostly thanks to Brodie. Those two were getting closer and closer as time went by. And me and her were too.
