Page 75 of As They Are
“Hey,” I said. “Is everything okay?”
“Your girlfriend is a fucking lifesaver!” She bounced on the balls of her feet. “The show put up all of our shops online and posted about it. Do you know how many online orders I’ve gotten?”
“A lot?”
“Two, but that’s way more than ever! Imagine what it’ll be like once the show starts airing. I might even sell out!”
There was another reason I had to make this work. The town. Putting up information about the town was one of my ideas, but Wren had ensured it was included in the contract and that they followed through. While no one was hurting for money because of the STM grant, I knew we all wanted to stand on our own two feet in case the money ran out.
“I’m so happy for you,” I said. “Did you come in here just to tell me that?”
“Mostly. I was honestly hoping you’d pass on the message to Wren. She’s been busy all day. I don’t know how she does it.”
“To the detriment of her health,” I said. “I’ll definitely pass on the message.”
“And can you put in a good word for me? I have a feeling I said something wrong when we first met, but I wanna get to know her. She’s so cool.”
It was one of my worst nightmares to be in the middle of a social situation, but I nodded anyway. Jade was a good friend of mine, and I wanted her to get to know Wren if she could.
“I’ll do my best.”
“Hey, maybe she’ll drag you to the bar. It’s the one place I’ve never seen you at.”
And there was a reason for that. By the time the clinic was closed for the day, I was more than ready to get home and be alone. The last thing I wanted to do was go be around more people.
“Y-yeah, maybe.”
Jade’s eyebrows pinched. “Are you okay? You seem ... off.”
Iwasoff.
“I’m good. No need to worry about me.”
“Right, but I also know you. Usually, you’re so happy. If you’re feeling weird about all of the change, you can tell me. I’ll make sure it doesn’t get to the Facebook group.”
For a second, I was tempted to. But a younger version of me had tried that. Not only with Mom, but with Ace and Norah.
I was able to seem normal most of the time, and everyone had certain expectations of me. But under the surface, there were needs I had that no one understood. To some, sights and sounds never bothered them. They were fine with anything that happened around them.
But to me, it was like a cheese grater on my brain.
I loved this town and the people in it. I loved it so much that I made sure they only saw the best in me. The Henry that they could deal with. I didn’t think I could take it if they saw the real me and gave me the same confused look everyone else had.
“No, I’m really fine. Just a little hungry.”
“Oh, say no more.” She laughed. “I get it now. You’re way nicer than when Tammy’s hungry. Or, God forbid, Hugh.”
“I try,” I replied. “You just happened to catch me right when I was gonna eat lunch.”
“I’ll leave you to it. Thank you for listening to me rave about Wren.” She waved and left. I walked up to the door and watched her walk away before my eyes went to the library where Wren was.
I would need energy to make it through the tour, so I locked the front door and turned the sign to closed. When I did, I walked back to the office, where I was completely and blissfully alone. As I loosened my tie for just a moment, I was able to breathe deeply and feel like myself.
As time went on, I would have to rely on stolen moments like this. It would have to be enough, because I refused to let everyone know everything about me, only for them to be disappointed in what they saw.
And if that happened with Wren?
I wasn’t sure I would ever recover.
