Page 66 of A Lovely White Christmastide
The ache in Carswell’s chest grew stronger with each minute as the sleigh retreated in the distance. How was it possible for someone he’d known for so little time to discomfit him this much?
“Do come inside, Lord Bingham,” Mrs. Waverly said from the door.
He turned slowly, his feet crunching in the icy snow. Taking one last glance over his shoulder, he finally did as he was bid.
“She will be back in a sennight.”
“Ten days,” he muttered as he removed his greatcoat.
“But who is counting?”
He glanced up to see Mrs. Waverly’s smiling face. “I see the way you look at our Beth. One might wonder if you’d have been better off tricking her into an engagement much like your friend did her sister.”
His jaw slackened.
“Do not look so astonished. I have more ears in this house than any other occupant. It pays well to befriend your servants, you know. They hear everything.”
“How long have you known?”
“From the very beginning, I think. A stable hand heard them in the woods that first day, then there was the maid who happened to be cleaning in the music room, and my housekeeper was in the library moments before you all interrupted their cozy tête-à-tête.” Her round cheeks lifted and her eyes sparkled.
“I see you are quite proud of your matchmaking skills.”
“That I am.”
“But you have made one slight error.”
“Oh?”
“Yes. My match does not want me.”
“Is she your match, Lord Bingham? I thought you did not believe in love.”
His brow furrowed in confusion.
“Servants, remember?”
The laughter in her eyes brought a begrudging smile to his lips.
“I… I am unsure what to believe.”
“Tell me, do you think of her when she is not in the room?”
He nodded.
“And when you are apart do you wish you were not?”
His eyes strayed to the door.
“I will take that as a yes.” She chuckled. “When you are together, do you finally feel like you can breathe again? Not that you could not before, but that when she is in the room your chest loosens and your lungs fill with life giving air so easily that you realize how hard it had been to draw air without her there.”
How had Mrs. Waverly described his feelings so completely? Hedidbreathe easier when Beth was around. Life was still difficult, but her presence made it so much less daunting. She did not treat him like a crippled lord who became far too particular about his environment when he was distressed. In truth, she’d hardly looked twice at his oddities.
Instead, she’d helped him when he was unable and stilled his need to organize with her comforting presence. He stopped the hand that moved to straighten a picture realizing it was the first time in over a week he’d been tempted to bring order to a room.
“But I have lost her,” he said softly.
“No, you have only been given time to figure out how you will win her back. That is all. If I know, Beth, her sweet heart will grow fonder the longer she thinks of you.”
