Page 70 of A Lovely White Christmastide
The sleigh ride to Haverton, though short, seemed like an eternity; especially with the way Beth’s heart insisted on beating out of her chest. Her father glanced at her every few minutes and inquired if she was well, which only made things worse. The reminder that her nervousness was evident on her face only made her worry more.
Would Carswell even want to see her if she appeared so ill? She scoffed at her own ridiculousness. Her appearance was the least of her worries. She had been cross and unkind. If he was angry with her for refusing to speak with him before she left, she would understand.
They turned up the lane that led to Haverton and a crisp breeze blew snow off the surrounding trees and into their open sleigh. Beth pulled her hand out of her muff and wiped the moisture off her face. While the cold helped ground her, she did not wish to show up disheveled.
When they reached the doors of Haverton, her aunt rushed out to meet them. “I cannot tell you the extent of my excitement when I received your note advising us of your return.” She gathered Beth in her arms and gave her a squeeze. “You must know how much I worried when you were caught in that storm. I am grateful you had the sense to stop in Kendal before things became too treacherous.”
Aunt Waverly glanced out the corner of her eye at Beth’s father, then rushed on. “I have hot tea awaiting you and a spot of luncheon. You must both be frozen clear through.”
Gratitude filled Beth. Aunt Waverly’s cheerful chatter was just what she needed to lift her spirits and give her courage to face Carswell again. Perhaps by the end of the day things would be right between them and this horrible sense of gloom she’d carried for days would be gone.
Instead of being led to the parlor as she expected, they ended up in the drawing room where Julianna and Mr. Kaye sat with the eldest Mr. Waverly and Mr. Bartholomew Waverly. The four seemed to be having an animated discussion over their expectations for Twelfth Night.
At her and her father’s appearance, Julianna’s eyes widened and she rushed to meet them. “I did not know you were coming back so soon.”
Beth glanced at Aunt Waverly in confusion.
“I did not tell anyone. I wanted it to be a surprise,” the older woman said.
“I see.”
Mr. Waverly and Mr. Bartholomew Waverly greeted her, then everyone sat and discussion turned to past Twelfth Nights. While reminiscing of shared past memories with her uncle’s nephews was pleasant, Beth often found her attention drawn to the door. Any moment she expected Carswell to enter and she wanted to be ready. But as the clock on the mantel ticked off each minute, she started to doubt.
Finally, after she’d finished her tea and a full half hour had crept by, she decided to inquire about the guests.
“Aunt Waverly, are your cousins still about?”
“Ah yes, but Mrs. Papworth has taken to her bed with a cold, so they will not be down today.”
“And Lord Bingham?” She hoped her question sounded innocent enough.
Everyone looked at each other and a pit opened up in her stomach.
“He’s gone, dear. Left the day before yesterday.”
“Gone? During the snowstorm? Where could he have to go that would be so pressing that he’d leave in such bad weather?”
“I am unsure dear, but do not worry. We received a missive from him with the one you sent letting us know he made it to Yorkshire without any trouble. Of course, he was on horseback so he could travel faster.”
Beth’s heart sunk into the pit that had opened up. It was over. She’d offended him so much he’d left, and in a storm no less. Maybe Papa was wrong; maybe Carswell had no feathers of love for her.
“Beth, may I speak with you for a moment?” Aunt Waverly rose from her seat.
She followed.
In the hall Aunt Waverly held out a small square of paper. “I was instructed to give this to you if you returned.”
She stared at the small piece of light blue paper, afraid to see what was written on it. Aunt Waverly shook it a bit and Beth finally took it.
“I will let you read it in peace.”
Beth nodded but did not move to open it. Fear beat so loud inside her that she was certain she heard it in her ears.
“Be brave,” she whispered to herself.
Slowly she unfolded it. There were only two sentences.
Beth,
