Page 96 of Pursued Beyond Treachery
“Y-your father is a frugal man, wise with his money and careful in his costs. That is why I turned to him for help with my own properties. He has no debts. And with your mother’s dowry, he has enough to give your brothers a decent start in life.”
“But my dowry?”
“Is s-set to avoid fortune hunters but is sufficient for your needs.” He lowered his voice. “Especially now.”
Pink touched her round cheeks and the moisture in his throat grew thick.
“It seems I have more apologies to make on my wife’s behalf,” Mr. Guthrie said, breaking Johnathan’s focus and reminding him that others were still in the room.
Susannah shook her head. “It is not for you to take on all your wife’s misdeeds. She is a grown woman and can carry them herself. Think no more of it, Uncle Guthrie. I do not hold you accountable.”
The man’s shoulders relaxed. “You are very generous. Thank you.” He reached out and placed a hand lightly at Miss Martha’s back. “Shall we go?”
She nodded. “Good day, Susannah, Lord Newhurst.”
“Good day, Martha.” Susannah said. “And a good day to you, Uncle Guthrie.”
Johnathan nodded to them both but said nothing. In a few moments they would be gone and the time would come for him to speak. And if the words would not come… he patted the letter in his pocket. He’d repeated the words so many times to himself last night that they burned brightly in his mind. If his mouthfailed him at least his letter would convey all the elegance of thought his heart wished to shout to the world.
Chapter 32
When Martha and Uncle Guthrie turned to leave the sitting room, Susannah caught sight of boot tips showing at the bottom of the doorway. They quickly pulled back at the sound of footsteps, but not soon enough.
“Good day Mr. Roberts, Sir Nathaniel, Mr. Kendall,” Uncle Guthrie said, not at all surprised at their presence in the hall.
Susannah waited for the men to enter after her uncle and cousin left, but instead Mr. Kendall reached in and pulled the door shut, a cheeky smile on his lips. She was alone with John. Her heart pounded, memories of last evening swirling in her mind and warming her cheeks.
Slowly she turned to him. He stared at the closed door, his face unreadable.
Fear crept in where excitement had been, stealing her thoughts away to a dark place. She had been the one to instigate the kiss that caused the scandal. The relief of her uncle declaring her father solvent had swept up her thoughts and carried theminto a fairytale world where John would automatically forgive her and confess his love.
But this was real life.
She had forced his hand, and he might never forgive her for that.
John’s gaze slowly met hers and his hand came up to pull something from his pocket. A letter if she was not mistaken. He held the corners of the paper gingerly with his fingertips, spinning it in his hands.
“S-s-sus-s-sannah.” He swallowed. “I-I…” He shook his head, then meticulously opened the paper.
What was it? An explanation for why he could not rescue her, or a reason he would, but why he held her responsible? The distance he kept between them seemed to indicate his distress.
He cleared his throat as he pulled his reading spectacles from his pocket and settled them on his nose. His stance was all business.
Taking a deep breath, he said, “M-m-most b-beloved Susannah.”
Her heart tripped in her chest. He still loved her? She did not need any more words to confirm it, but she listened all the same, tears rolling down her cheeks.
“F-from our childhoods y-y-you have been one of my d-dearest f-f-friends.”He took a deep breath.“I reverence each experience of loss that we surmounted together and cherish each joy we shared.Never, in those early years, would I have imagined those experiences would lead me to an unutterable love and longing for you that has blossomed since my return from the continent.”With every word John’s gaze moved less and less to the paper he held.
“I cursed my mouth daily for the words it refused to say and the feelings it kept locked inside my lungs.”His deep blue eyesrose and locked on hers. “But it holds me captive no longer. I stand before you in agony, praying I am not too late.”
He stepped forward, pulling Susannah from her reverie. She mimicked his movement, bringing them closer.
Johnathan dropped the letter to the floor. “I love you with all my body and soul. You fill my life with the words I struggle to grasp, with music to lighten my darkest days, and with a generosity of spirit that looks over my inadequacies.” He extended his hand and she took it. “Can that generosity forgive me now as I beg for your hand in marriage? For it is my dearest desire to traverse each season of life with you, to love you, and build a family with you. To give myself to you body, mind, and soul.”
Susannah sniffled and he pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to her. If only she could get ahold of her emotions. How the tables had turned. He was pouring out his heart and she was the one who could find no words. She dabbed at her face.
He lowered his head, spectacles now removed, to look into her eyes. “Please relieve my suffering and say you will be mine.”
