Page 61 of Pursued Beyond Treachery
His frustrated mind pondered her mention of the Wallaces when the second half of her sentence registered. He sat upright.“Baby?” As a man who prided himself on his attention to detail, it smarted that he’d somehow missed such a crucial piece of information.
Javenia stopped. “Nate did not tell you?”
He lifted his eyebrows and tipped his head to the side.
“I see.” She sat in the chair across from him. “The day you left early, the one where we found you with Miss Wayland, he let us know of Melior’s delicate condition.”
He collapsed back in the chair. That was what Eddie meant by natural.
That Nate had not shared such private information with him would have been normal in any other part of Society, but it hurt knowing he’d been kept in the dark. They’d been the keepers of each other’s secrets for years. Susannah’s pretty face flashed in his mind—at least, he had been the keeper of Nate’s secrets.
Johnathan had never told anyone of his attraction to Susannah.
Attraction was not a strong enough word. Not for the pull he felt whenever she was near. Like a bee to a flower, he was drawn to her, her very presence giving him a reason to live each day. Voicing any feeling was hard enough, but the intensity of his love for Susannah often overwhelmed his senses and made it difficult to articulate. So he’d stayed silent.
Then again, if Javenia was to be believed, they all knew. It was a secret no longer.
He laced his fingers together. “I s-suppose that is why she’s been so ill of late.”
Javenia nodded. “She should be resting, but she is so determined to find Miss Wayland a match this season that she’s exhausting herself.”
Johnathan stared out the window. “And is Mr. Wallace her choice?”
“Whose? Melior or Miss Wayland?”
Reluctantly he pulled his gaze away from the window. “Either one.”
“I have seen that face before, John. Do not give up.”
Closing his eyes, he focused on his next words. “I will not stand in the way of her happiness. No matter how painful it might be to s-see her married to someone else.”
“Stop it!”
His eyes flew open. “What?”
“Stop playing the martyr. You need to fight for that girl, John. You love her like she needs to be loved, but she will never know if you do not tell her.”
Leaning forward, he said, “And h-how am I-I-I supposed to d-do that? Y-y-you k-know b-b-better than anyone h-how h-hard it is for me to speak.”
He gripped the arms of the chair. She leaned forward and placed her hand over his. “We all have mountains to climb. You will never know the wonders you will find at the top if you don’t take the first step—or in your case, say the first word. You may find speaking far easier than you think.”
Johnathan tucked his chin and tipped his head. “Really, Javenia? If I cannot speak to you about it, I hardly think my addlepated brain will be able to piece together enough words to the woman I love.”
She sat back with a satisfied smile. “And yet you said that entire sentence without one stutter.”
“An anomaly.”
“Hardly. You do well in Society when you are sure of your speaking material. Think of all the words you can spout off a definition for without a second thought. Do what you have with them; memorize what you wish to say.”
He searched Javenia’s familiar face, reviewing her advice. He supposed he could write something out and practice it, but what reason did Susannah have to choose him over Mr. Wallace? Onlyhis title set him apart, but that would not sway her. She’d been raised with an example of the truest love. Money, status, even appearance would not sway her unless her heart were truly set on the person.
“I—”
The door to the sitting room opened and the butler announced, “Mr. Roberts to see you, my lord.”
Javenia straightened in her chair, her hands smoothing her dress, then checking her curls. Johnathan smirked. She was quite talented at giving advice she herself did not take. When would she finally admit to Al that she saw him as more than a friend?
Al entered with all the swagger one could expect of him. “I thought I might find you at home.”
