Page 11 of Lost in Love
Anna laughed. “No possibility.” She inserted her arm into the sleeve presented by Katherine.
The room fell silent as the machine did its work.
She knew Katherine must be thinking she didn’t have time for sex in her schedule, but as Anna had known she preferred women since puberty, pregnancy was never likely to be in the cards. A shame, as she’d always liked kids, but at thirty-eight, she knew her baby days were numbered.
A long beep and a hiss of air indicated the machine had finished.
Katherine removed it from her arm. “Well, that’s higher than I’d like.”
“I don’t like doctors’ surgeries.”
“I got that impression, but it’s unlikely to be the cause.” Katherine felt for her pulse on her wrist. “That’s faster than it should be too. Was that the first time you’ve fainted?”
Anna nodded. “But I have felt hot and dizzy before. My heart races a lot, even when I’m sat down.”
Katherine sighed. “Pop your jumper back on.” She returned to her desk. “It’s quite clear your body is stressed out, Anna. The symptoms you are experiencing are its way of telling you to slow down.” Katherine tapped on her laptop. “Run me through an average daily routine.”
“I get up about six, tidy the house, get the laundry on. I wake Dad about half seven, help him dress, get him his breakfast, and then often help him with it. Put him in front of the television. Tidy up again so he doesn’t trip on anything. I leave for work at eight fifty and grab a coffee at the tearoom. Work until lunch when I go back to check on Dad. I stop at the shop first if I need to get anything, then prepare his lunch, again helping him with it if he needs it. Tidy up again and get any laundry out. Run him over to the library if I can. Then I head back to work until five. Go back home and prepare dinner, help him with it as dinner is often the messiest. Evenings are a mix of getting him in the bath, folding washing, planning meals, and then getting him to bed about nine. I have two days off a week, and they are much the same without going to work.”
Anna looked up at Katherine. She was staring at her in disbelief. It was a moment before she spoke again.
“You work… what, a sixteen-hour day with no breaks, and you don’t see a problem with that?”
“Of course I see a problem with it,” Anna replied, raising her voice. “What I don’t see is a solution. I can’t reduce my hours as we need the money to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table.”
“Well, what about getting help for your father?”
“Care costs, lots!” Anna replied indignantly. “I’ve spoken to the council about getting help, but as he doesn’t require nursing care, they won’t send anyone out. It seems you must be sitting in a pile of your own piss three times a day to gain their interest. All they did was put in a couple of handrails. To them, he is well cared for, by me, and I can’t just stop caring to make them start.”
The room fell into silence, except for the faint sound of Anna catching her breath. She wondered if she had overstepped the mark with her crudeness. She told herself she didn’t care what the doctor thought of her, but even deep down she couldn’t fool herself.
“Do you not have family or friends?”
“Our family are dead, and I don’t have time for friends,” Anna responded dejectedly.
Katherine chewed at her lips. “It’s my turn now to apologise for my previous behaviour, suggesting you might have a more important place to be rather than beside your father. It was unprofessional. I can see you have a lot to deal with.”
Anna was taken aback by the apology. Perhaps the doctor did have a heart after all.
“But you need to slow down. Take time for yourself, eat properly, relax, laugh.”
“Are you serious?” Anna could feel her blood boiling. “How do you suggest I do that? Where does that fit into the schedule? Others are juggling and struggling, but they manage. I just need to work harder at being better at it.”
Anna felt a tightness across her chest similar to how she had felt before she fainted. A wave of panic washed over her; she felt hot and rolled up her sleeves. She wanted to get out of the stuffy room, away from the enchanting doctor and her annoying suggestions on how she should live her life.
But Katherine was leaning a concerned face closer to her. “Are you okay, Anna? You’ve gone pale.”
“I’m fine, I just need some fresh air. Can I go?”
“You are not a prisoner here, Anna. You are free to leave when you please, but do think about what I said. You are no use to your father in this state,” Katherine said calmly, passing her a prescription from the printer. “I’m prescribing you propranolol. It’s a beta blocker for your heart. Take one to two a day and at the same time each day if you can. It will reduce the physical symptoms whilst you work on trying to reduce the stress.”
Anna glared at her.
Katherine’s expression softened. “As much as you can anyway, and avoid stimulants like coffee.”
Anna scrambled out of her chair and headed for the door.
“Please book a follow-up appointment in a week to recheck your blood pressure.”
