Page 18 of Trust in Truth
“You knew what it could mean, not that it did mean that. It sounds like you did everything possible.”
“Not really; I was going to check what vocal therapy he was having. He was very monotonal last time we visited, and I was so distracted making sure everything was perfect for her birthday and the propo—” Katherine stopped herself. She hadn’t even told Rebecca about the proposal; she didn’t want anyone’s opinions on it, be them positive or negative. She wanted to follow her heart.
“Even if you had checked and they weren’t doing any therapy, whatever treatment they started wouldn’t have made a difference in that space of time,” Rebecca replied.
Katherine let out a silent sigh of relief that she hadn’t picked up on what she nearly said.
Rebecca continued. “He would have still choked. Please don’t over-analyse this and try to find a way to blame… yourself — wait a minute, what did you just say?”
“Nothing?” Katherine replied through gritted teeth. It was nigh on impossible to slip anything past Rebecca.
“You bloody did! Were you going to say ‘proposal’? Did you propose in Bath? I can’t believe you weren’t going to tell me.”
“If I may squeeze in a word or two…”
“Sorry, got a little carried away in the excitement. So?”
“Yes, I was going to propose, but as I was about to, the doctor rang.”
“Oh, Kat, my heart is breaking for you.”
Katherine scratched at her scalp. “It’s fine. I’m fine with it.”
“You sure do sound fine.” Rebecca laughed and then squealed. “I’m so proud of how far you’ve come. So, are you going to ask her again, or not again since you haven’t asked yet?”
Katherine rolled her eyes. “I don’t know. Everything is a little awkward at the moment what with Harry and her obsession that Margaret has the hots for me. I didn’t realise she had such a jealous streak; it’s very unattractive.”
“Margaret? As in the trustee, your boss of sorts? Scandalous.”
“We’re just good friends,” Katherine replied, fanning herself with the leaflet.
“I’m sure you’ll sort it out between you — if you communicate.”
“Chance would be a fine thing; she has a huge workload what with this New Year event. She’s up early and straight into work, and then with a hospital visit she’s back late, eats dinner, works, and then hits the bedroom exhausted.”
“Oh, are we a little frustrated?”
Katherine stood and opened a window. “This has nothing to do with that, thank you. I’m just worried about her. Even if Margaret was interested in me, which I know she isn’t after a rather embarrassing conversation some months ago, it’s not like I encourage her. I think Anna’s just seeing things that aren’t there.”
“All I can suggest is that you look at every interaction you have in future through Anna’s eyes. See what she is seeing.”
Katherine hummed her agreement and checked her watch. “I’ve got to go, Becks; I have to sign off the building works with the project manager.”
“Exciting.”
“You’re telling me! They finished a week earlier than planned, which gives me a bit of breathing space before Christmas and the guys an extra week’s holiday, which they are chuffed about.”
“I’ll see you next week then. Send my love to Anna and tell her I hope Harry gets well soon. I’m sorry not to see him on Christmas Day even if he did call me… what was it?” Rebecca chuckled.
“A big, scary barrister lady. Well, you are. See you soon.”
Rebecca signed off with the sound of a kiss being blown down the phone.
Katherine examined the small box on her desk and checked inside again, still unable to believe the ring had just been lying in the drawer. Either it had been there all along and she had simply missed it, or someone had taken it, thought better of it, and returned it. It was probably best not to mention it to Margaret if it had been taken; the person had returned it after all. If they realised they had made a mistake, she didn’t want to ruin someone’s career over it.
Now she had two rings and no idea what she was doing with regards to the proposal. Everything had become a bit strained since Harry went into hospital. She was trying hard not to act out of the ordinary around Anna even though she felt guilty for not having gone straight to Harry the morning of Anna’s birthday. If she was honest about it, there was scope for having turned the car around the instant she heard him coughing.
She tried to focus on Rebecca’s words and not blame herself: Harry wasn’t Katherine’s patient or medical responsibility anymore. The feeling of guilt rose in her once more; he was more than a patient now, he felt like a father to her. Having lost her own when she was young, she’d never had a replacement figure until Harry. She knew it would be difficult to raise the subject with Anna, especially while Harry was ill. Katherine didn’t want to look as if she was trying to steal her anguish, though she did want to let her know she wasn’t alone in her pain. Whether Anna would understand that, she was unsure.
