Page 71 of Broken Beyond Repair
She jumped as a weight touched her shoulder. Whipping her headphones off, she turned to find Beatrice right behind her.
“How are you getting on?” Beatrice asked, leaning over her to look at her screen.
It took her by surprise. It was the first time Beatrice had entered her personal space; it was always she who entered Beatrice’s. She could feel her breath on her skin; smell that soothing scent of hers. The hair on her arms stood on end. She pulled her sleeves down to cover them.
“Getting there. I can’t believe how much we’ve covered.”
“You’ve done a great job reworking my ramblings.”
“They weren’t ramblings. They were confused thoughts from a confused life.”
“Well, thank you for helping me file everything correctly.”
“It’s what a good PA does.”
She could still feel Beatrice’s hand on her shoulder. She wanted to reach up to it, hold it, kiss it, and never let it go.
“I need some fresh air.” Beatrice tapped her shoulder and then removed it. “Would you walk with me? Just down the drive a little.”
“Yes. I need a break.” Sydney stood, arching her back and stretching her arms up. As she turned to face Beatrice, the woman turned her head away sharply.Had she just been checked out by Beatrice Russell?Every part of her pulsed at the possibility of it until she convinced herself there was no chance of that ever happening.
Beatrice hooked an arm into Sydney’s for extra support as they made their way slowly across the loose gravel drive. As they reached the harder, more compact part of the road that led down to the wood, Beatrice remained attached. She wasn’t going to complain; she was grateful to have her there.
She listened as Beatrice pointed out all the areas of the estate she’d restored over the years and filled her in on the history of Highwood House. It was built by an architect whose wife was a writer. He’d built the turret so she could appreciate the beauty of the estate whilst being shut away for hours, working. Sydney knew that room had called to her for a reason.
“Did you hear back about the audition you went for?”
“Yes. Alison told me this morning that they gave it to someone younger.”
Sydney wrinkled her nose. “Sorry.”
“It’s for the best. It would have taken me to Africa for three months next year with a punishing schedule. I’d like to do more in this country. I’d gladly swap Hollywood for Highwood. Anyway, there’s already talk that the male co-star will be earning more than her.”
“Really? That’s horrific. You’re best out of it then.”
Beatrice sighed. “It’s not great for the self-esteem if I can’t even get the roles where they intended to pay less. I would have fought it, of course, had they given me the part.”
“If it happens at the top, it must happen all the way down.”
“You bet it does. For one film I did years ago, the male co-star was paid twice as much as me for less screen time. That was the only time I might add. Alison demands to see male co-stars’ contracts before allowing me to sign, to ensure I’m paid equally. Luckily, I can pick and choose my parts. At least I could; the tide looks to be turning away from me. Maybe I should take it as a sign to slow down and reduce my workload.”
“Why? So you can bow out before you’re dumped?”
Sydney’s supporting arm jerked as Beatrice shrugged.
With no verbal answer forthcoming, Sydney continued. “You need to fight back; you’ve got your best years to come. The most difficult years juggling motherhood and a career are almost behind you. What was all that for if you give it up when the going gets tough? Ageing hasn’t diminished your talent; it’s increased it. Show them. It’s time to reinvent yourself, write your own narrative, take control. Don’t run from it.”
“Perhaps,” Beatrice sighed wistfully.
“What makes you choose a part?”
“The character. I need to feel a connection. If I don’t feel a passion for their story inside me, I turn it down.”
“Even if it’s a great part with a great team?”
“If there’s a great team, there’s a great script, so it’s rare that I turn something down like that unless there’s a scheduling conflict. There’s just something magical about being with a group of people who are all at the top of their game. It’s like an enthralling conversation at a dinner party.”
Sydney nodded; she understood what she meant.
