Page 39 of Beyond Her Manner
“All day,” Gillian replied, looking across at her.
Viola responded with a soft smile. “I’m supposed to be here to rest. To find some peace in the countryside.”
A thought struck Gillian suddenly, one which made her slightly queasy. “And I came at you with all your faults and failings.”
“You sure did,” Viola answered with a resigned tone. “It’s fine. I happily admit I’m out of my depth. I had no idea what I was taking on with the estate, and you weren’t the only one pointing things out. Honestly everyone has been very kind — if a little pushy. I only wanted a quiet spot in the countryside.”
Gillian let out a light laugh. “I’m not sure there is such a place.”
“I can quite believe that now. How was I to know that the village would have such demanding residents? Mum was the type of woman to embrace it, encourage it even. She would have found great company here, lots to keep her busy. She was full of excitement to be moving to Kingsford; she’d never lived in a place as grand.”
“You suggested earlier that you weren’t well off,” Gillian said, hoping to find out exactly what that meant. One man’s poverty was often another man’s wealth.
Viola nodded. “We lived in a small house when I was growing up. A two-up two-down, you might say. We lived hand to mouth as my dad was drunk most of the time, and he couldn’t hold down a job. I came from nothing with only my voice. I managed to secure a place at the Royal Academy of Music; it was upwards from there. I learned to only rely on myself to succeed.”
Viola had worked hard to get where she was; she deserved the manor. All Gillian had done was pretend to be someone else and in love. Did she deserve any of it? Was that why she spent her life doing countless things for others? Because she believed she needed to pay for her life in some way?
“And succeed you did,” Gillian assured her. “Despite your upbringing.”
“I often wonder what it would have been like to have a ‘normal’ upbringing. A happy family. Then I wonder if I would be where I am now.”
“You mean was it your adversities that got you this far?” Gillian clarified.
Viola nodded.
“I often wonder the same. Where would I be now if Hen hadn’t fallen that day? What life would I have lived, and who would I be? Her death changed me; it was a catalyst that propelled me into Jonathon’s path. I lost so much only to gain Kingsford; losing it has been like losing Hen all over again.” Shetook a breath as she remembered why she never talked about these things. It was bloody difficult. “The feeling of loss never truly fades, does it? It lies dormant, waiting to resurface. At least this time it feels more like an old friend paying a visit rather than a fire consuming me from within.”
“Our lives have multiple paths, all with multiple destinations. We can’t walk back along them, only accept the path we have walked. As hard as that feels sometimes.”
Gillian swallowed hard. “Some days impossible.”
“Sometimes a new path can lead us to good. I know Mum was very happy with Stephen, her new husband. I wish she’d left my dad sooner, but then she might not have known Stephen. Or she might have met someone else who wasn’t good for her. They made the best of their time together, and then fate brought Mum back to me when I needed her and she needed me. I believe everything happens for a reason. We may not even choose the path we walk; we find ourselves on it one day and hope it’s the right one. If it’s not, it may be there to steer us to the right path in the future. A path can even be a test.”
“Hmm, maybe,” Gillian mused as she stared out the side window at the hedgerows flying past.
“I will always be grateful that my mum and I reconnected,” Viola continued. “Unlike my dad, she never wanted any money from me. She never asked for a penny, not once. Kingsford was my gift to her. I wanted her to rest, enjoy some time in one location for a change, tend the garden, and pot some plants. My life is hectic; she couldn’t keep touring with me, especially overseas, and I knew I needed to learn to survive on my own again. Little did I know I would literally be alone again.”
Gillian noticed Viola’s hand reach under her sunglasses as if wiping a tear away.
“Sounds like a lonely place at the top. Do you not have groupies, or whatever they call them these days? No girlfriends?”
“I don’t think the type of groupies you are thinking of exist anymore; not quite in the same way, anyway. As for girlfriends… I’ve been too scared to let anyone in. I’ve never quite managed the whole long-term relationship thing. The few people I dated lost interest once they saw how little time I could give them.”
Gillian nodded her understanding, even if the concept was alien to her. She would have loved for Jonathon to have been around less; it would have been perfect. Her thoughts turned to the woman beside her and how she would feel if she was around less. A tug in her chest took her by surprise.
Viola pushed a button on the dashboard, and music began to fill the car. Gillian immediately recognised it as one of Viola’s songs, which her driver then proceeded to sing along to. Hearing the real thing only a foot away from her created an even more visceral reaction than hearing the song at home. The warmth and passion that exuded from Viola as she sang made Gillian’s body tingle from head to toe. She rubbed at her arms, hoping the hairs would stand down before Viola noticed her goosebumps.
“I wasn’t expecting a live performance,” Gillian said as the song ended.
“It’s the least I can do for you taking me shopping.Are you cold? I can turn the climate control up,” Viola said, noticing Gillian rub her arms.
Gillian stumbled, unsure whether to agree that she was cold or admit the effect Viola’s voice was having on her. Why was it so hard to get the words out? She didn’t normally have a problem being honest; it was simply easier when the tone was negative rather than positive. She wondered why that was.
“Oh! Did I do that?” Viola asked.
Gillian was about to deny it, then found the words, “Your voice seems to have an effect on me,” coming out instead.
The resulting smile that formed on Viola’s lips lit up her face. A smile crept onto Gillian’s, too, knowing that smile had come from her words. Viola really was incredibly beautiful.
