Page 76 of Beyond Her Manner
“Gillian, are you sure you’re okay?” Viola asked, stepping closer.
“I’m fine, honestly,” Gillian replied, though her voice betrayed her inner turmoil.
Viola reached out, touching her arm. “If something’s bothering you, you can tell me.”
Gillian looked into Viola’s eyes, seeing the genuine concern there. The tension between them was almost palpable, a mix of unspoken feelings and unresolved emotions.Be strong, she told herself.
“It’s… this place, memories of evenings like this,” Gillian began, her voice trembling. “It’s hard to see everything changing, to see someone else in a role I used to fill.”
She stopped herself from adding that it was even harder that it was Viola now fulfilling that role, someone she admired more than she should. It would be easier if she could go back to disliking her.
Viola’s expression softened, her grip on Gillian’s arm tightening. “I understand. Don’t forget you’re still important here, Gillian. More than you know.”
Gillian swallowed hard, feeling a lump in her throat. “Thank you. That means a lot.”
The night air wrapped around them like a comforting embrace. Gillian knew she couldn’t avoid properly addressing her feelings forever. For now, though, she was content to stand beside Viola, sharing a moment of quiet understanding, friendship, and companionship.
“Holding parties like this was a big part of your role, wasn’t it?” Viola asked.
Gillian nodded. “I’ve felt more like my old self than I have in months.” Looking up at the manor she added, “About now I would be crawling upstairs to my bed. Instead, I’ll be walking to the end of the drive.”
“I understand how difficult it must be, but you are mid-journey to somewhere new. It seems a shame to look back rather than forward.”
Gillian wasn’t so sure she was moving forward or even if she wanted to. She couldn’t go back, but the pull of the past was strong. She felt trapped in a halfway house suspended between the past and the future, unsure which direction to take.
“Change can be good,” Viola continued. “It challenges us. It’s my first performance soon without Mum. I have to get throughit; I don’t have a choice. I’m sure once I have, I will be stronger for it.”
These last months with Viola around, although challenging at times, felt easier, particularly in recent weeks. Was she serving as a distraction from her problems? Tonight held the atmosphere of old times, a reminder of her previous life, which was unexpected. She had prepared herself that it would feel different with Viola as hostess, but it hadn’t. The ball carried the ambiance of any other party she’d thrown at the manor.
She looked to Viola; her face was solemn and deep in thought, no doubt about her upcoming performance. Her expression didn’t appear convinced she would be stronger. Should she offer to accompany her? Viola needed to get through it; it didn’t mean she should do it alone. She was about to offer until she remembered Caroline. Would she be going?
“Would you come with me, as my guest?” Viola said, seeming to read her thoughts. “You’ll have a whole box to yourself. Caroline can’t make it.”
“Oh.”
“I hope it’s not too much to ask of you. Especially after the magazine shoot, and then tonight.” She quickly added, “You could bring Bridget… if you didn’t want to be alone.”
“No, I don’t mind coming alone.”
“That’s a yes then?” Viola questioned, a tone of hope in her voice.
“Yes, of course. I’m here for you. As much as you are for me.”
“Thank you, Gillian,” Viola replied, placing her hand on Gillian’s upper arm and shooting a pleasant warming sensation through her in the process. “I know I shouldn’t be nervous; it is my job after all, but it’s been a while, and things are different now. I don’t just mean Mum. I’ve been enjoying my time off… late mornings, late evenings.” She paused, then added coyly,“Spending time with you. My workload only increases from here.”
The thought of Viola returning to the world that demanded so much of her, of a space growing between them again, made her chest tighten.
“I’ll still be here,” Gillian reassured her.
Viola’s hand lingered a moment longer on her arm, sending the gentle warmth deeper into her skin, into her thoughts.
“I know,” Viola whispered, her gaze unwavering as their eyes locked.
There was a vulnerability in Viola’s stare that Gillian wasn’t used to seeing. A rare glimpse beneath the composed surface she always presented to the world.
Gillian felt suddenly overwhelmed, and her throat tightened. “It’s late. I’d best be getting back. I don’t want to turn into a pumpkin,” she said with a grin as she stepped back. “I’ll head back from here rather than coming inside.”
“Thank you for a wonderful evening,” Viola said. “You really do know how to throw a party, not that I ever doubted it.”
