Page 83 of Beyond Her Manner
Now there was a new pain sitting on her surface. Her body and mind had been growing used to someone else being there, but now she was gone too. Why was she foolish enough to allow it to happen? She tried to be kind to herself, to tell herself she couldn’t have predicted this, that she would fall for the unobtainable in the wake of her grief.
The countryside had grown on her, too, but for a city girl, its vast contrast left her yearning for the buzz of urban life. As much as she appreciated its tranquil charm, the absence of familiar sounds and scents made her long for the bustling streets and the familiar pulse of London. Was it possible to be suffocated by nothingness? Clean air and silence? Maybe she should sell up and go back to the city, forget all about Gillian Carmichael.
As a tear rolled from her eye, she picked up the phone and called Caroline. She sniffed away her emotions as she picked up the call.
“I was about to call you,” Caroline greeted her. “We need to discuss the idea of extending the tour. Are you up for it? I’ve had a huge amount of interest across the States. I can have you there as soon as January. I need a hard yes as I need to get the team on promo ASAP. We’ll start on the West Coast and end at Carnegie Hall, then move on to Europe in the spring.”
Viola smiled at her use of the word ‘we’, knowing Caroline wouldn’t be there, leaving it all to the tour manager. Maybe itwould be best to keep busy until she could get over Gillian. Some distance between them would help. A few thousand miles should do it.
“Sounds great,” she found herself saying before she could think any more about it. “Let’s do it.”
“Excellent. I’ll start the ball rolling. The reviews for the Proms are all positive. Returning to live performances will please a lot of your fans.”
“Mmm,” Viola hummed.
“Are you okay? You were happy with your performance, weren’t you?”
“Yes, all that was fine. It was in the dressing room when Gillian kissed me that things started to go awry.”
A spluttering, gargled noise, followed by a coughing sound, came down the line.
“She kissed you?” Caroline finally said, her tone hovering between shock and fascination.
“Yes. Then she ran away.”
The sound of Caroline sucking in a breath came down the phone, followed by, “Oh.”
“Mmm,” Viola murmured again, the memory of Gillian’s taste mingling with champagne lingering on her lips, not to mention how hard she had fought to resist the temptation of finishing the bottle alone.
“Have you spoken to her since?”
“Yes. She wants us to be friends.”
“Ouch.”
Viola sensed the vibration in her throat coming to hum again. She stopped herself, knowing it was a numbness coming over her and taking her power of speech. She needed to think clearly and act. To look after herself; protect herself.
“I’m thinking of selling Kingsford. It was always meant for Mum; I was only ever going to be here on and off. It’s too painfulto stay; it would be easier to be in love with Gillian somewhere else entirely. Australia is beginning to feel like the perfect destination.”
“How does Gillian feel about you selling?” Caroline asked, confusing Viola with her concerned tone.
Viola huffed. “What has it got to do with her?”
“Considering you are selling to run away from her, and it’s her house, then I’d say it’s got everything to do with her.”
“I’m not running away, and it’s notherhouse!” Viola’s voice sharpened, the words escaping before she could stop them. She paused, trying to regain control of her emotions.
“You know what I mean,” Caroline insisted.
She did. Kingsford would always be Gillian’s, regardless of who owned it.
“Have you told her you are considering it at least?” Caroline continued.
“No. It only just came to me, and if I will be touring a lot next year, it makes sense. I should leave whilst the pain is so strong.” Looking out the window, she added thoughtfully, “This place sucks you into its little universe, and I’m not sure it ever spits you back out again. It would have been perfect for Mum.”
“Don’t let me stop you. I need you back at work,” Caroline said, adding more cautiously, “Surely if you sell, then Gillian will be at the mercy of someone else. Someone who may not be as sympathetic to Kingsford as you have been.”
“Is that my problem?” Viola sniffed.
