Page 98 of Barging In
If only she had accepted the job when Victoria offered it, then it would have been impossible to avoid seeing each other. After two weeks of wrestling with the idea, now she’d do anything to snap it up. She wanted to work for her. Around her. She’d find a way; these things couldn’t be mapped out on a notepad. Life wasn’t so rigid. And if it didn’t go as planned, then she would keep changing and adapting until she was happy.
The sound of nearby footsteps startled her out of her chair. She wasn’t expecting anyone. But seeing Victoria standing on the jetty, with a cautious smile on her face, caused her breath to catch and then release in a rush of relief.
“Victoria. Hi!” Clem couldn’t have packed more excitement into her voice if she’d tried. “How are you?”
Victoria glanced down, then back up. “Can I come aboard?”
“Of course,” Clem said, offering her hand out to assist. The dim exterior light wasn’t much use beyond casting a glow over the table and the book she’d abandoned on it.
“Have you got any cake going spare? I haven’t eaten since breakfast. The traffic back from London was a nightmare. You’d think it would be heavy going the otherway, with everyone heading into the city for work tomorrow. There must have been an accident.”
So, she had been right: Victoria had gone to London. But why? Clem’s impatience got the better of her. She rested a hand on Victoria’s arm.
“I’m pleased to see you, but I’m guessing you aren’t here to tell me about the traffic. At least, I hope you’re not.”
“Please fetch me something sugary and” — Victoria picked the bottle of wine up and squinted at it against the light — “a glass for this, please, and I’ll tell you.”
Clem obliged, returning in record time with a glass and the last slice of chocolate brownie that she’d squirrelled away for herself. She sat watching, leg twitching with nerves, as Victoria devoured it, washing it down with a sip of Chardonnay.
“Thanks, I needed that.”
“Why were you in London?” Clem asked, trying to steer the conversation.
Victoria exhaled. “The business was up for an award, which it won. Drew needed a wife on his arm, so I obliged.”
Clem tried not to react, but the words punched her in the gut. Of course, she’d gone and played the part. The thought that Victoria might have fulfilled other wifely duties tightened her chest, making her next breaths difficult to take. Victoria wouldn’t, would she? Of course not. Clem topped up her own wine glass, only halfway, as much as she desired more.
Victoria turned to face her, declining a top up of her own glass as she did.
“Look,” she said softly. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have kissed you that night. But it helped me understand how you felt. How I felt. It made me feel wanted, desired even.That I wasn’t completely invisible. It helped me see that I wasn’t alone.”
“You aren’t alone anymore.”
“I know, but as you pointed out, I was. I have been for a long time. I just couldn’t admit it. I felt scared, but you gave me strength. Jasper did, too. He made me see the wharf for what it is — stone. He was right, even if I didn’t want to hear it. I think I had to be willing to lose everything before I could finallyhit the button, as you put it.”
Clem shuffled to the edge of her seat, heart hammering in her ears.
“So… youhavehit the button?” she asked, desperate to understand where things stood. Where she stood.
Victoria nodded. “Yes, I have.”
Clem exhaled a deep, shaky breath and slumped back into her chair, relief washing through her. Whatever this meant for them, whatever came next, at least Victoria had made the decision. She had acted.
“And it went okay?”
Victoria nodded.
Clem leaned forward and grabbed Victoria’s knee, giving it a firm squeeze. “I’m so proud of you.”
“Oh.” The word slipped out in a breathless whisper, her brows lifting in surprise. “No one’s ever said that to me before.”
“Seriously?”
Victoria gave a small, indifferent shrug. “Maybe I never gave anyone a reason to.”
Clem squeezed her knee again, gently but deliberately, drawing her gaze. “Other people’s emotional voids aren’t a reflection of you or your achievements. Have you ever felt proud of yourself?”
Victoria shrugged again.
