Page 61 of Barging In
Victoria nodded, her eyes distant. “Looking back, yes. Over the last few years, I’ve felt like a bystander in our marriage. He went through a midlife crisis: sold the house I loved in a quiet, leafy area and moved us to a ghastly penthouse in Canary Wharf. He threw himself into work, and the business became more successful, taking up more of his time. Sports cars were being bought at a time when I’d hoped for pushchairs.” Her voice cracked. “I stood on the sidelines, watching the life I’d dreamed of slip away.”
“I’m sorry. That must have been…” Clem trailed off, unable to even find the right word to sum up how she must have felt.
Victoria shrugged. “I can’t change anything now. It wasn’t even his fault, but I would’ve liked a little consideration — you know, some understanding of how it might have affected me too. Especially from my in-laws.”
Clem reached out and gently squeezed her arm.
“Did you consider adopting?”
“I wanted to, but he was having none of it. He wanted an heir, and he didn’t see someone else’s child as his heir.” She paused for a moment. “And the more I couldn’t have kids, the more I wanted them.”
Clem nodded. “Makes sense.”
“I distracted myself with my family history instead. My future might not have been working out as I had planned, but understanding my past grounded me somehow. It helped me come to terms with the fact I wouldn’t be passing any part of me into the future.”
Ouch.That hit home.
Victoria touched her face, but Clem saw it was a quick wipe of a tear. Without thinking, Clem squeezed her arm again, suddenly aware she hadn’t let go.
With a sniff, Victoria looked up at the wharf. “Then I found this place. It was an escape from London — the memories, the hope I had there, the dreams… Drew.” She twitched her shoulders. “Maybe I checked out first, made him look elsewhere.It was a time we should have been pulling together, but all we did was allow it to tear us apart.”
Victoria wiped her face, this time not bothering to hide the tears. Clem fished a tissue from her pocket and passed it to her.
“Thanks.”
“You should be proud of yourself.”
Victoria sniffed from behind the tissue as she wiped her eyes. “Why?”
“Look up.”
Lowering the tissue, Victoria followed Clem’s gaze up to the wharf, where some of the apartment windows were illuminated.
“You did that. You lit it back up and gave it a new life. You made that happen — it was all you. And you will make a success of it. I’m sure if you put your full attention to it, you can make it thrive.”
A smile flickered at Victoria’s lips.
“Your parents must have been proud.”
The exasperated sigh that followed told Clem that she might have put her foot in it again.
“They’ve never visited,” Victoria answered softly, her fingers twisting the tissue in her hand.
“Not once?”
Victoria shook her head, slipping the tissue into her pocket. “This is my father’s legacy right here, and it did spark their interest when I first told them about it. That was until they realised it was Drew buying it and I wasn’t leaving him. Then it was radio silence. They never likedhim. Mum said he had a wandering eye and that he would stray — and she was right, wasn’t she?”
“Seems so.”
She let out a faint breath. “They wanted grandchildren so desperately. My brother’s a confirmed bachelor, so it all fell on me. And when Drew and I couldn’t have a child, well, they told me to leave him. Infertility is no reason to abandon a marriage, is it? And I wanted to make it work; I really did. But I didn’t know how it would change him.”
“You couldn’t have known,” Clem said gently. “Have you spoken to them recently?”
Victoria closed her eyes and shook her head. “They don’t seem to like the choices I make, so I gave up trying. I can only imagine what they would say about me giving up architecture. That was something they were proud of — probably the last thing, actually.”
“I get that. My mum is always questioning my decisions, but wanting to prove your parents wrong isn’t a good reason to stay in a bad relationship.” Clem bit her lip, not realising what she’d said until it was out. She knew things were more complicated than that. When there were no reprisals from Victoria, she quietly added, “So, when did you last speak to them?”
“About five years ago. I sent them an invitation to the opening of the wharf last year out of reluctant politeness, but they didn’t come. We exchange birthday and Christmas cards, but that’s it.”
