Page 128 of Tell Me Why
“That was very apparent,” Tell said.
She jolted, looking at him.
“You asked Keon for a favor,” she said, and he sighed, then nodded, not looking at her now.
“I did.”
“Does it mean… all of this was for nothing? Are you exactly where you started again?”
“I’m exactly where I started,” he agreed. “More or less.” He turned to look at her. “But you managed to play a key role in toppling the farmed vampire-parts industry. It’s not permanent. The knowledge is out there, and it will come back. But for now, the number of vampires who go through what you went through has plummeted, and will stay low for… probably years, if Keon decides it’s a danger to him.”
“But…” Tina said. “You didn’t get rid of your debt. All of this was for that.”
“I would and will go to great lengths to clear my debt with Keon,” Tell said, glancing at her, then shifting, making to stand. “But there are things that matter more, and I’ve carried it this far. I don’t mind to carry it a bit further.”
“After all that, I’d even gotten out on my own,” she said.
“The only reason I was there was because Keon was sending his men. You might not have escaped, if they had heard of attacks elsewhere, earlier. I regret nothing.”
It hurt to hear it, but she wasn’t going to argue further.
She was alive.
Clearer than she had been in weeks.
And she didn’t want to go submit herself to Ginger again tonight or tomorrow night, either.
“Let’s go home,” she said.
“Let’s go home.”
Tell was waitingfor her when she was able to move again the next dusk.
“You can come in,” she called, rolling onto her side and just resting her face against the soft-smooth of the sheets.
“I’ve arranged a fountain,” he said, leaving the door open as he came to sit on the edge of her bed. “He’ll be here in about an hour. How are you feeling?”
“Like I’m missing six major organs and the rest are made of gelatin,” she answered.
“And other than that?” he asked.
“I’m clear,” she said. “I’m home. I don’t feel…” She’d struggled with it, through the day, and she still didn’t havewordsfor it. She tried anyway. “I just wentthroughsomething. Something awful that… incapacitated me and made me questionreality. Where I wasn’t sure if I was even going to survive. And yet… I’mhereand…”
“It should bother you more?” Tell asked with a gentle humor.
“Exactly,” she said. “Why am I not jumping at shadows and questioning my sanity?”
Why had the daylight been the easiest day she could remember having, even as she was still in the throes of whatever they’d shot her up with?
“Because your nature has changed,” he said. “You are more confident, at a default. I wasn’t sure how much it would be true for you, but… I’m glad it is.” He paused. “Hunter and I tell all of our little stories like they’re funny, because they are. But they were all like this, at the time. Painful and unknown, some with very long recovery times. Some with losses that still hurt.” He paused again, looking at the floor beyond his knees. “Do you think about that youdied? Or that you haven’t had a wave of grief over your mother and your father since I turned you? It’s possible for a vampire to lose his faculties through immense trauma, but I think it’s actually brain damage that’s so bad that they can’t heal from it again. We are made for immense time and to survive. It changes how we experience things and how we carry those experiences with us.”
“Is that why you don’t actually talk about any of it?” Tina asked.
“You will have lost a part of what you had remaining to you that was human,” Tell said. “And you may look back at this with… bitterness, as you figure out what it actually means. I’m sorry for that. But… I’m glad to hear that you’re surprised at how little it has affected you, otherwise.”
He rose.
“Are you ready to get up, then? Ginger says that if you can’t walk by yourself by midnight, I have to bring you back.”
