Page 93 of Never a Duchess
“No, I don’t think you did.” Eliza sighed. “Now, I owe your brother a boon. I wagered you were staying home tonight, yet he was convinced you would be sneaking away somewhere.”
“Lillian!” Adam called from the depths of the dimly lit study. “Might I speak to you for a moment?” He sounded most displeased.
“Coming,” she replied, cursing her misfortune.
Eliza smiled and rubbed Lillian’s arm affectionately. “Try to leave him in a good mood. Do you have a weapon?”
“A weapon?” Even when in a foul temper, Adam was always reasonable.
“When you’re out, you might encounter footpads.”
“Dounreay has asgian dubh.”
“You should take a pocket pistol. I’m surprised Mr Daventry didn’t ensure you were equipped. I’ll fetch mine. It’s simple to use.”
As Eliza climbed the stairs, Lillian took a moment to calm her breathing. She entered the study to find Adam seated behind his imposing desk, his hair a little mussed, his cravat missing.
“You wished to speak to me.”
Adam relaxed back in his seat, observing her over steepled fingers. “Do you want to tell me where you were last night?”
“With Dounreay.” There was no point lying.
“You said you were staying with the Sloanes.”
“It was late when we left Madame Delafont. Dounreay invited me to—” She stopped abruptly. The woods were his secret place, known to a handful of trusted people. A special place where she had spent the most thrilling night of her life.
“Dounreay invited you to do what, Lillian? I think I’ve been more than tolerant in allowing you to explore your feelings for the duke, but I cannot—”
“I’m in love with him.”
Good heavens!
She gasped as the words tumbled from her mouth. She had been so close to telling Dounreay last night. Fear still held her back, a nail snagging her cloak, making her falter.
Adam blinked in surprise. “If you’re trying to placate me by—”
“No. I suspect I’ve always loved him.” A chuckle escaped her lips as she let love flood every chamber of her heart. The rush of euphoria was so intense, tears filled her eyes. “I love him deeply, Adam.”
So deeply it hurt.
“Are you sure that’s what you feel?”
She shrugged, trying to find the right words to convey her emotions. “I cannot bear it when we part. When I think about him, I get so giddy I crash into the furniture. His happiness is more important than my own. And I could listen to him talk all night.” The sound of that soft Scottish burr did strange things to her insides.
And when Dounreay made love to her, the whole world tilted on its axis. She didn’t want to avoid the future. She wanted to live with him and sleep beside him in bed. Wake to feel his strong arms wrapped around her. Laugh with him every day of her life.
Adam released the breath he’d probably been holding since she was six years old. “Thank the Lord! I thought you’d never let yourself love him. I thought you’d be forever alone, pushing everyone away.”
Tears slipped down her cheeks—tears of joy, relief.
The wonder of it all tightened her throat.
“I’m sorry if I’ve made you worry.” He was the last person she wanted to hurt. “I’m sorry if I’ve ever disappointed you. But I love you and don’t want you to worry about me anymore.”
Upon hearing her endearment, his mouth fell open in disbelief. He pushed out of the seat, rounded the desk, and hugged her. “All I’ve ever wanted is for you to be happy. Promise me you’ll tell Dounreay how you feel.”
“I will.” She would tell him when they were alone together in the carriage. Before they forced their way into Monsieur Baudelaire’s shop to search for evidence. Hopefully, they’d find the letter, find proof he was the poisoner, and be done with the business of murder.
