Page 59 of A Little Bit Dangerous
Isabella sighed. “Yes, but I’m sure your mother loved you and would never have intentionally taken her life.”
“Perhaps. Sadly, we will never know.” As this was a confessional of sorts, he asked his own probing question. “Did your mother love you, Isabella?”
She averted her gaze and took to staring at the passing houses. “Some people don’t understand what love is. My mother was an orphan and had no guidance. I take solace in the fact she did her best while battling her demons.”
“We often resort to anger when we feel neglected.” God, he’d have lived in a permanent rage had it not been for Mrs Maloney. “A wise woman once told me we should strive to do the opposite. To give without expectation. To give to those we consider undeserving.”
Isabella looked at him, her eager eyes wide. “Was it Socrates who said those who are the hardest to love need it most?”
“I believe it was.” He watched her, the need to have her, possess her, like a living thing growing inside him. “Based on your upbringing, do you think you’re capable of loving someone?”
She shrugged. “Do you?”
“All the odds are against us.”
“I’ve never met anyone who professes to feel true love.”
Christian snorted as an image of a powerful man came to mind. “Daventry is hopelessly in love with his wife. He’s still besotted after all these years.”
Isabella laughed. The sound stirred something warm and deep in his chest. “But he’s not a mortal man and therefore doesn’t count.”
“Yes, he’s certainly unlike anyone I’ve ever met.” She was unlike anyone he had ever met. He found himself transfixed by her smile, by her depthless brown eyes and clever mouth. “While romantic love may be a questionable emotion, one cannot deny the power of lust.”
She touched her fingers to her throat. “Worldly people understand that’s all there is. They don’t set their expectations too high.”
“You consider me worldly?” he teased.
“You may not have ventured far, but make up for it in experience.”
“I learnt a little more about the journey to Egypt last night.”
A pretty blush stained her cheeks. “I suppose you want to know what happens when you enter port.”
He laughed. “I know what happens when I enter port, love.”
“Not an Egyptian port. You may find it a totally new experience.”
“It’s fair to say that’s probable.” There was no question this woman was unique. “Do let me know when you’re ready to continue with my education.”
Her eyes met his, and he saw his own desire shimmering there. “Is there somewhere we could go? Somewhere quiet where we won’t be disturbed?”
With Gibbs playing nursemaid, it would be impossible to escape him. And with Lawton out for their blood, he couldn’t take her to his house in Ludgate Hill. Mrs Maloney had given him the key to the bookshop. With it being a stone’s throw from Fortune’s Den, help would be on hand.
“I told Mrs Maloney I would visit the bookshop and check all is well,” he said, dismissing the faint flicker of guilt. “She promised Aaron she wouldn’t leave Fortune’s Den, and she never breaks a vow.”
Isabella remained silent while contemplating his proposition. “I do need to collect the receipt for the cobblers.”
“Then we’ll call at the shop once we’ve spoken to Ethel Cartwright.” It was the only opportunity they’d get to explore their deepening connection. And their work at the docks tonight came with certain risks. There’s every chance he would wake tomorrow to find her gone.
They sat in companionable silence, the thrum of nervous excitement palpable in the air. Every few seconds, they looked at each other. He was debating whether there was time to kiss her when Gibbs brought the carriage to a halt in Dean Street.
The walk past the chapel to the warden’s office took longer than their meeting with the balding guardian. After explaining the purpose of their visit, he checked his ledger, quickly finding the necessary information.
“Yes, Ethel Cartwright was here for a time. She caused no end of trouble and earned the moniker The Revolutionist.”
“Do you know where she went?”
“Yes, she got a job at the docks near the Limestone Basin. Don’t ask me how. But some poor fellow saw fit to employ her at the shipping office.” He checked his notes. “Yes, she went to work at Napier & Woods on Narrow Street.”
