Page 45 of Lady Gambit
His long exhale carried the sound of regret. “I like you, Miss Chance, more than I’d care to admit, but?—”
“Delphine. We’re friends, are we not?”
“Delphine.” Each syllable fell like a soft moan of pleasure. “If I were a different man, I would visit your bedchamber tonight and say to hell with the consequences. But that would make me as selfish as my father, and that’s one thing I could never endure.”
It occurred to her that Mr Flynn would always be alone.
He had not sought a companion in five years.
He would not marry for anything but love.
It was evident he had never suffered this dilemma.
Sensible adults would show restraint … but what if this was the beginning of something special? What if their happiness depended upon one reckless decision? If she had one wish, she would rather glimpse her future than know the secrets of the past.
“You make a habit of comparing yourself to your father when you’re nothing like him. I don’t know what happened between your parents, but you’re not?—”
“My father lusted after his wife’s maid. He bought her a cottage and visited her until he grew bored.” His tone was like aBaltic wind, bitter and biting. The deep creases on his brow said this was a tragedy, a tale without hope. “He sired a son out of wedlock, a son he didn’t give a damn about until the boy came of age and proved useful.”
He spoke as if the boy were a stranger.
Perhaps that’s how one dealt with pain.
They were still holding hands, and so she gave his a gentle squeeze. “He wants you to marry Miss Montague, but you refuse. He tries to buy your loyalty, which is why you work so hard, why Mile End is your sanctuary.”
It would have been so easy to accept his father’s gifts. The fact Mr Flynn had chosen the hard path was a testament to his moral character. Indeed, it only made her admire him all the more.
“It won’t be my sanctuary for much longer. I limit my visits to Mile End because I refuse to have that man in my house. It takes skill to evade his spies. It won’t take long for him to learn I own a house south of the river.”
A pang of guilt hit her squarely in the chest. He’d not wanted this case, he’d not wanted houseguests either, but Mr Daventry had left him with little choice.
“Then we will leave Mile End and find somewhere else to hide.” He had already done more than anyone could ask of him. “I shall send a note to Aaron at once and have him make the arrangements.”
“No.”
“No? But you?—”
“I made a promise I intend to keep.” He met her gaze. The same tenacity that had earned him his independence shone in his dark eyes. “A man is nothing without the strength of his word.”
And yet, there had to be another reason he wanted her to stay at Mile End. He could have suggested joining them at another location, tried to find a different solution.
“I’m not convinced that’s why you want me to stay.” Her bold statement was met with silence. “If we’re friends, Dorian, you must trust me with the truth.”
He shifted in the chair. There was a short pause before he found the courage to say, “I like having you there. I like knowing you’ve touched my things. I told myself I craved peace and solitude. The truth is there’s something beautiful about the chaos.”
Tears gathered behind her eyes. She had taken so much for granted. The days spent cramped in Mrs Maloney’s small bookshop were the happiest of her life. There was always someone to talk to, someone to laugh with, cry with. Someone to love.
She thought about their family meetings around the table at Fortune’s Den, the arguments, the skylarking, the laughter. The scene was so opposed to the solemn image of Mr Flynn dining alone.
“Strong bonds are formed during hard times.” She had found love and kinship amid her family’s suffering. Yes, there were rules. Yes, Aaron kept secrets, but she should have had the faith to challenge him. He would have listened if she’d fought harder. “What is the definition of family?”
He shrugged. “How should I know? I was only allowed home from school if my father agreed to visit. My mother blamed me for his inconstancy. I was the insufferable wretch who kept him away.”
She brought his hand to her lips and pressed a lingering kiss to his broad palm. “Family is not defined by blood. Family is about friendship and trust and loyalty.”
“One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.”
She smiled. “You quote Euripides. The ancient philosophers were so wise. How is it, hundreds of years later, we’re still learning the same lessons?”
