Page 60 of The Last Chance
That’s when she knew the nightmares still plagued him.
“Did he try to take your brother again?”
“No,” he said proudly. “I did what he wanted as long as he left my brothers alone. Then he died, disowned by his family and drowning in debt. Our stepmother stole what little was left before dragging us from our beds and dumping us in the rookeries.”
Joanna barely remembered her mother but knew she was kind and had the patience of a saint. “Your stepmother sounds as wicked as your father.”
“She choked on a chicken bone years later. I regret not being there to witness her clawing her throat in an effort to breathe.” His eyes were cold like flint as he spoke about the woman he despised. “I was grateful for the education. It hardened me in ways you cannot imagine.”
Yet he was a different man when he kissed her.
He was passionate and tender.
Keen to offer light relief, and because she wouldn’t sleep without asking the question rebounding in her mind, she said, “Did you mean what you said to Mrs Flavell tonight? That you won’t kiss another woman as long as you live?”
“I meant every word.”
“I see.” The tragedy of it was too hard to contemplate. She should be thinking about Lucia and her persuasive confession. They had taken the maid home and searched her room, but the girl kept repeating the same story. “Thank you for being honest with me.”
“Friends don’t lie to each other.”
She wished they could be more than friends, but he was right. There was a side of him she didn’t know. She wanted all of him, not the part he was willing to share.
“Well, it’s late,” she said, knowing she should leave before they fell into each other’s arms and kissed like they were two halves of a whole. “I suspect this is the last time we’ll be alone together.”
“If my family agree to come home tomorrow, we’ll not get a minute’s peace.” A wistful smile touched his lips. “Yet, there’s beauty in the chaos.”
Joanna agreed. The hours spent listening to her friends’ problems and amusing tales left her feeling blessed, not burdened.
Nerves had her shifting her feet, but she had to speak truthfully. “In case we’re denied an opportunity to speak privately again, I want to apologise for calling you a prized ape some weeks ago. In truth, I think you’re a remarkable man, Mr Chance.”
His eyes brightened. “Mr Chance? Do friends not use given names?”
She smiled or else she might cry. “Maintaining a certain formality between us is best. You’ve spent months striving to keep your distance, and for good reason. The world fails to exist when we kiss.”
He glanced at her mouth, the air between them alive with unfulfilled longing. She felt the deep tug in her gut, the profound pull of attraction, the ache only he could sate.
“Good night,” she said before she acted on impulse.
She left him alone in the hall, her stomach churning, her legs shaking, and mounted the stairs quickly.
He called out to her. “Joanna.”
She turned, gripping the banister. “Yes.”
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For helping to keep the darkness at bay. These moments with you make me forget I’m the dangerous devil men fear.”
Tears filled her eyes. Not because she wanted to kiss him but because she could hear the boy still trying to dodge life’s punches.
“I lost sight of myself this last week, too.” She should have raced to her room but took a step towards him, drawn by a force she could not explain. “My grandfather bought the house acrossthe street forty years ago. I don’t remember him, but he changed my life when he left it to me.”
Mr Chance moved to grip the newel post.
“I can’t help but feel I was destined to live opposite you,” she said, confused why she could not push him from her mind when there would be no happy ending for them. “Perhaps whatever exists between us was meant to cause chaos. That this is all part of a bigger plan.” A spiritual education.
