Page 92 of The Last Chance
She tried not to think about it.
She tried not to think about a lot of things.
An unmarried woman could not afford to grieve or dwell on what might have been. Nor could she place her life on hold to focus on suspicions.
“When we’re no longer suspects in a murder enquiry, I would like to have a funeral and lay a proper headstone.” Perhaps it would bring her closure and help Gabriel to focus on the future, too. “Justin was committed to the ground, but my father couldn’t bear to say goodbye.”
“I’ll make the arrangements.” Aaron pulled her closer to his hard body, the heat of his skin chasing the chill of sadness away. “I’ll do whatever brings you the peace you deserve.”
She rolled on top of him, eager for love in any form. “Perhaps you might bring me peace now, Aaron. I need a distraction from these maudlin thoughts.”
With mischief in his eyes, he gave a sinful grin. “Is this distraction enough?” He gripped her buttocks, his fingers sinking into her soft flesh while gliding her back and forth over his growing erection. “Straddle me.”
He didn’t need to ask twice.
He was inside her in a heartbeat.
Buried so deep, she arched her back and sighed sweetly.
Trust Sigmund to choose that moment to rap lightly on the door.
Aaron stilled. “What the hell is it?”
Sigmund cleared his throat and called from the corridor, “There’s a young lady here to see Miss Lovelace. She’s waiting in the study, said it’s important. Said her name is Miss Stowe.”
“Can she not return in the morning?”
“Happen she wouldn’t have come if it could wait.”
Joanna leant forward and kissed Aaron’s lips. “I asked for a distraction, and the Lord answered my prayer.”
“We both know you had something else in mind.”
“We’ll finish this later.” She smiled, but a sudden pang in herchest said nothing in her life was guaranteed. Happiness might be stolen from her at a moment’s notice. “I’ll be right down, Sigmund.”
Aaron sat up, wrapping his arms around her waist and flipping her onto her back. He was still inside her, as if sensing another goodbye was imminent.
“Don’t go. Don’t leave this room. Not tonight.”
She cupped his cheek. “Why? What are you afraid of?”
“Nothing,” he hissed. “Everything.”
The admission was a milestone in their relationship. The fears one buried as a child were never far from the surface. They informed every decision one made.
“We can control some things,” she said, stroking his back, “but we cannot control fate.” Knowing she could not reason with him, she revealed her own method of coping. “Have you ever wondered why we all walk different paths? Why some people suffer more than others?”
“Every damn day,” he growled.
“What if we all chose a lesson to learn? What if everything in our life happens to ensure we receive an education?”
“I must have chosen more than one,” he said bitterly.
“Not necessarily. Your whole life has been marred by fear. Fear of being physically hurt. Fear of failure. A fear of being poor and unable to protect your family. You’re afraid of what will happen to them if you put your own needs first.” She wrapped her legs tightly around him, holding him inside her even though his manhood had grown flaccid. “You will always live with secret fears until you master the emotion.”
Aaron wasn’t angry with the world.
He was afraid of all the ways it might hurt him.
