Page 229 of Modern Romance September 2025 5-8
She’d come into his life as a woman still carrying the wounds of her past, and in many ways, those wounds had broken her. But she was stirring back to life, becoming whole again; he could see that happening before his eyes. So, what did that mean? That she’d go home and instead of being repulsed when another man kissed her, might she lean into it? Start to enjoy the promise of flirtation and the spectre of sex?
He pulled away from her quickly, so she said his name on a short breath of surprise. ‘What is it?’
‘Nothing,’ he lied. ‘Let’s swim.’ He smiled, but it felt like a facsimile of the real deal, and he knew she saw that, because her face showed concern. He ignored it. He didn’t want her concern, and he didn’t want to contemplate what came next. Suddenly, the idea of Jane moving on from him sat like a rock in his gut.
They raced around the yacht until Jane’s arms were like jelly and her legs were sore, as the sun slipped lower and lower towards the horizon, and then, as they passed the pontoon on the back, she stopped swimming and grabbed hold of the rails.
‘I think I’m done,’ she said, trying to keep her tone light, when there was something dark stirring inside her. A frustration, with the way he shut her down whenever she took the conversation in a direction he didn’t want to go.
Ithurt.
It hurt, after she’d told him about Steven. It hurt, because she’d trusted him.
But at the same time, it wasn’t as though she didn’t have secrets of her own. Like Lottie.
They didn’t have to tell each othereverything.Except, her friendship with Lottie was somewhat irrelevant to all of this. It might have been the catalyst for their meeting, but their relationship now existed in a way that was totally outside the bounds of the plan Lottie and she had discussed before Jane had met Zeus.
Anything important about her, she’d told him. She’d shared herself with him. And yet, he seemed determined to keep parts of himself closed off, even from her.
Was it possible that she was mistaking their physical intimacy for something more?
Lottie always said Jane was messed up because of the way her parents had treated her, and she knew her best friend was right. All her life, she’d known that her parents didn’t love her like parents should love their child. They’d sent her away to boarding school at five years old, and from then on, she’d seen them only briefly during holidays, and sometimes, not even then. When Jane had started dating Steven and professed herself in love with him, Lottie had laughed and shaken her head. ‘You want to be in love with him, because you want him to love you back. No one is going to fill that hole in here, though, that your parents dug, except for you. You have to love and accept yourself before anyone else can.’
Well, she’d been right about Steven, and she’d probably been right about all of it.
Now Jane was looking at Zeus as though he were in some way a mythical piece of her that had been missing all this time. Whereas she was probably just trying to fill that same awful, painful void. Not with love, but with intimacy and trust. Yes, the kind of trust she’d never known, because she sure as hell couldn’t have said she felt that for her parents. And the fact he wouldn’t open up to her showed that he didn’t trust her, even after all she’d shared with him.
It hurt.
It hurt way more than a casual week-long fling should be able to hurt her. But Jane found, as she showered alone, that there was nothing she could do to change that. She wanted more from Zeus than he seemed willing to give, and she had two choices: accept it, or leave early. She didn’t like either alternative.
CHAPTER TEN
‘You’requiet,’hesaidas their dinner plates were cleared away. He’d sat through the meal, watching Jane push her quinoa salad around on her plate and take minuscule bites of the chargrilled fish, occasional sips of wine. It wasn’t like she’d been sulking. Nor ignoring him. She’d asked questions about his grandparents, as well as the history of the area, but there was a tension in her that was very, very obvious. In complete contrast to the way she’d been in the water that very afternoon.
Before he’d joined her and shut down her line of questioning.
Because she asked too much. No, shesawtoo much. Other women had asked him personal questions, and he’d never found it hard to sidestep them. With Jane, he felt a pull towards full disclosure, and it made him uncomfortable. Hell, it made him want to break out in a cold sweat. His one rule in life was not to trustanyone.Or anything. He dealt in facts, figures, the tangible certainty of black-and-white numbers. When it came to people, he expected to be disappointed. To get hurt.
‘I’m tired,’ she said, pulling her lips to the side. Lying. She was upset. Uncertain.
‘Jane,’ he said on a tight sigh, because he knew why she was upset now; he just wasn’t sure how to broach it.
He didn’t have to worry about that.
‘Zeus, I’ve never done anything like this before,’ she said after a beat, her voice a little uneven. ‘As you know.’ Those words were slightly acerbic. ‘I don’t really know how it’s meant to work.’
He stared at her. ‘Work?’
‘Yeah. Like, is it just sex? Is that the main thing we’re doing?’
His gut churned. Wasn’t that his stock in trade? How he usually had relationships? Sure, there was the polite dinner beforehand, a bit of surface-level conversation, but ultimately, he preferred to keep things easy. Casual. Enjoyable.
‘You’re upset.’
‘I’m trying to understand,’ she corrected with a defiant tilt of her chin, ‘how you expect me to be.’
‘I just want you to be yourself,’ he muttered, recognising the hypocrisy of that. As did she, evidently, because she sat back in her chair and crossed her arms, one brow arching upwards.
