Page 36 of Modern Romance September 2025 5-8
‘Rafifi Castle.’
Right. Well. That wasn’t a problem. ‘Get me the helicopter. Now.’
Sofia sat beneath the weeping willow by the river at the castle, the bright sunshine of the day dappling the ground and making a mockery of her misery.
She shouldn’t have come here. The memories of happier times were too hard to bear. But she hadn’t known where else to go. Her diary was empty for two whole days that stretched out before her, and she hadn’t been able to stay at the palace where there were constant reminders of what a fool she’d been. At least here she was in no danger of accidentally bumping into Ivo. And her wretchedness would ease soon, she was sure, even though it was still so fresh, still so intense that she couldn’t imagine when.
She hadn’t cried in over twenty years, ever since she’d realised that no one would ever ask her what was wrong, so she’d be better off bottling up how she felt and doing her best to move on. She was making up for it now, though. In the twenty-four hours she’d been here she’d hardly stopped. She was wrung out. Her entire body ached. Her heart was shredded. She’d loved and she’d lost and she’d never felt pain like it.
Yet she had no one to blame but herself.
She should have never allowed herself to care, she told herself for the thousandth time as she stared desolately at the river that glistened and sparkled in the sunshine, and shuddered out a sob. She should have been stronger. Been satisfied with what they had. She should not have reached for the moon.
So desperate had she been to fill the well of loneliness inside her that she’d allowed a crush on the King to get way out of hand. She projected all her hopes and dreams onto him. She’d expected him to provide the close loving family she’d lacked, and save her.
Now the truth was revealing itself to her in all its devastating detail, she could see that she hadn’t been at all fair. It wasn’t Ivo’s job to fix her. To prove that she wasn’t unlovable. Of course he wouldn’t put her first. It wasn’t personal. He wouldn’t put anyone first. He wouldn’t be the strong successful ruler he was if gave his country anything less than his full, undivided attention.
All her hopes and dreams had been built on sand. The house of cards she’d built had collapsed into nothing. She should never have tried to manipulate his feelings into more than they were. She should never have ignored the voice in her head that had warned her over and over how much damage he could inflict. Ignorance had been bliss. Reality was devastating.
But at least she knew now exactly where she stood. No more would she imagine heightened senses and bask in attention that wasn’t really there. No more would she read something into nothing. That bubble had well and truly burst. Her feet were now firmly on the ground. So firmly on the ground, in fact, it occurred to her that perhaps she’d set her sights on himbecausehe was unavailable. Her dreams had been safe. Pain and rejection had not been a possibility—until he’d turned her life upside down, her heart had conquered her head and then they’d stared her squarely in the face.
And perhaps shehadno fatal flaw andwasn’tunlovable. Perhaps she simply pushed people away before they did the same to her. A self-defence mechanism she’d developed to protect herself from the sort of pain that her parents had caused her. An act of self-preservation. How would she have made friends anyway? She had no idea about the give and take of relationships. Her expectations had always been distorted, so really, this marriage hadn’t stood a chance.
What shewaswas resilient. So she’d get through this. Despite the arrows of agony that still stabbed at her heart no matter how hard she tried to deflect them, she’d eventually find a way to navigate her relationship with Ivo and the rest of her life. She’d have a child, his heir. She’d have patronages. She could make a difference. Performing with him for the public would get easier with time, she was sure. They’d settle into the marriage of convenience this was always meant to be, and she’d come to find that she was…content.
The faintwhop-whopof a helicopter had her looking up through the gently swaying branches of the weeping willow and shading her eyes. The small dot grew larger and noisier as it approached and then landed out of sight.
With a sigh that seemed to involve her entire body, Sofia pulled herself together and got to her feet. She brushed off her dress, took a series of deep steadying breaths, then headed in the direction of the helipad to find out what was up.
She was halfway across a meadow strewn with daisies, poppies and cornflowers when she saw Ivo striding towards her, looking like some dark avenging angel as he made a beeline for her. She halted in her tracks. He carried on mowing a path through the wild flowers and grasses, his gaze fixed on hers with such intent that her heart began to crash wildly against her ribs. Nerves twisted her stomach into so many knots she feared she might be about to throw up.
Had she forgotten an appointment?
Surely the office would have called.
So why was he here? Had something happened? What could she have done now?
She must not speculate, she reminded herself frantically, swallowing hard as, without even stopping, he took her arm and propelled her back to what she must not think of as ‘their’ tree, fairly blowing her away with his impact. She’d fallen into that trap one time too many. It was so hard to forget the fantasy she’d created to fulfil her craving for love and connection. She’d clung to it for such a long time and he looked so very good. But she had to remember how the conversation in his study had crucified her. How weak she’d come across and how vulnerable she’d been. She must not crumble. She had to stay strong.
He pushed aside the draping branches, then let her go and jammed his hands in the pockets of his trousers. She rubbed the spot on her arm where he’d held her, which burned. ‘What are you doing here?’
He opened his mouth, then closed it. He peered at her more closely and his brow furrowed. ‘Have you been crying?’
‘Pregnancy hormones,’ she lied, nevertheless having to work for her composure like she’d never had to work before. ‘And I asked you a question. What are you doing here?’
‘It’s my castle.’
‘That’s not an answer.’
‘No?’ he said, radiating an energy that snapped and sizzled around him. ‘Well, how’s this for one?’
Her breath caught. Her heart hammered like a pneumatic drill. The entire world seemed to grind to a halt. Even the river stopped in its tracks.
‘I’m here to apologise.’
The world started up again. The river flowed once more. Her lungs released their grip on her breath, and Sofia wanted to wail in despair because hadn’t she learnedanything? Was shestillso deluded she’d expected a declaration of love? ‘For what?’
‘My complete and utter stupidity.’
