Page 111 of The Holy Grail
“Me, Jules, and you, of course.” Malcom tilted his head. “Who else would I be talking about?”
“I’m just making sure there’s no gray area here,” Evan replied, leaning forward and placing his hands on the bar. “So, you and Jules have discussed this?”
“Yes, this morning.”
Malcom shared the highlights of the conversation with Jules, and when he was done, Evan almost felt like he was having an out-of-body experience. Could this really be happening? The words coming out of Malcom’s mouth seemed to indicate it could, and while searching his face carefully for anything other than sincerity, Evan slowly reached forward and took one of Malcom’s hands, holding it gently. It was the first time ever doingso, and Evan wasn’t the least bit surprised to feel a little shiver go through him at the contact.
As Malcom’s eyes widened, it was clear he was feeling it too, but the moment ended when he stiffened slightly on the barstool and glanced around, as if to check and see who might be watching.
Seeing the uncomfortable and self-conscious reaction, Evan’s stomach churned with disappointment. And even though it probably wasn’t meant to be a personal rejection (and was more a reflection on Malcom), it still felt that way. Rejection in any form sucked, so when Evan spoke, his tone was a little harsh and dripped with disappointment. “You can’t even handle me holding your goddamn hand, so what makes you think you’re ready for a fully interactive triad?” he asked as he released Malcom’s hand, before stepping back and turning away. “Good night, Mal.”
Knowing he’d made a terrible blunder, Malcom called out, “Evan, wait.”
“Your drink’s on the house,” Evan said, heading toward the doorway which led into the back hall. He didn’t give a shit about being the only bartender on staff that night—he needed a few minutes to himself. “Take care,” he threw over his shoulder, just before disappearing from sight.
Shocked at the abrupt departure, and ashamed to be the cause of it, Malcom quickly got to his feet and followed Evan, ignoring both the waitress who frowned at him, and the sign above the doorway that read ‘Employees Only’. Once in the back hallway, he turned in the direction Evan had gone, just in time to see a door closing, and quickly went to it. Not even bothering to knock, Malcom opened the door and stepped into what turned out to be a slightly messy office—presumably where Jules had been doing all of her work—with a desk, a computer, and also several filing cabinets.
There was also a very annoyed Evan, who gave Malcom a less than pleased look. “Jesus Christ,” Evan muttered. “For fuck’s sake, just go home.”
Malcom closed the door behind him. “I’m sorry about what just happened. You sort of … took me by surprise.”
“Please,” Evan scoffed at the lame excuse. “I know when someone is surprised, and you weren’t that. You were more like—” he broke off to think of something insulting, because he was feeling really salty at the moment, “—a scared little boy.”
“A what?” Malcom’s eyebrows drew together in hurt disbelief.
“You heard me. A. Scared. Little. Boy.” Evan pointed at Malcom. “That’s you.”
“Fuck you. I’mnota scared little boy.”
Evan smiled, enjoying the fact he was pissing Malcom off, because it chipped away at some of the rejection Evan was still feeling. “You think you’re not, but you are, so justfuckingown it. At least have the balls to do that, even if you have to grow a pair first.”
Malcom could feel his face starting to burn with a mortified flush. The sharp insults were so unexpected, it took him a few seconds to respond. “What an asshole thing to say.”
Evan took a few steps toward Malcom, who looked slightly uncertain at the approach and backed up, only to be stopped by the door at his back. “Sorry, not sorry. I believe in being honest, unlike you—”
“Fuck you, again. I have been honest.”
“Maybe in words, but actions speak louder than words, and your actions tell me you’re not ready. I mean, if you’re spooked by me simply holding your hand in public, you definitely wouldn’t be ready to bekissedin public, and when I’m with someone, that occasionally does happen. You see, I like to show affection, so I refuse to modify my behavior for anyone, because I’m not willing to compromise myself like that. I won’t make myself small, not even for you.”
With a dismissive shake of his head, Evan took another step forward, until he and Malcom were almost chest-to-chest and said, “The truth is, I really don’t think you’re ready, or that you’lleverbe ready—”
“You’re wrong.”
“—and that’s a damn shame. For you, for me, and for Jules, because the three of us could set the world on fire.” Placing a hand on Malcom’s chest, mainly because Evan just wanted to feel it, he was gratified to see Malcom’s breathing escalate at the touch. “We could really be something … whatever we wanted to be.” Evan slowly dragged his hand up to Malcom’s throat, gripping it with just enough pressure to make his eyes widen. “You could be everything to me, and I could be everything to you. Same with Jules.” Evan’s lips were now mere millimeters from Malcom’s, which were slightly parted. “But in order for that to happen, you’d have to fully accept yourself, release those parts you keep hidden, and not give a fuck who sees them. Because I wantallof you—” Evan broke off to reach down with his free hand and take hold of Malcom’s cock through his jeans, one eyebrow raising upon discovering it was already quite hard.
Eyes locked with Malcom’s, Evan then began massaging the expanding length with firm, sure strokes, until Malcom’s cheeks were flushed and his breathing had quickened. “I want all of you—in the bedroom and out of it, without fear, without shame, without hesitation … and I won’t settle for anything less. Understand?”
“Yes.”
“Holding hands with someone is important to me, not only because I like doing it, but also to show I’m with that person. Same goes for kissing. I want to be able to kiss you, but I also wantyouto be able to kissme, like you did with Jules at the Farmer’s Market. You weren’t afraid to lay one on her in public, and I demand the same treatment. Understand?”
“Yes.”
Suddenly, there were two sharp knocks on the door, and Malcom felt each one against his back. His first instinct was to move away, anticipating the door being opened and a person entering the room, but his movement was held in check by Evan keeping Malcom firmly in place with the hand on his throat.
The hand on his cock didn’t miss a beat.
“Evan?” Amber called through the door.
