Page 101 of The Holy Grail
He tried to give her a reproachful look, and it might have worked if he hadn’t also been trying to stifle a grin. “So, anyway, I started to think that would be possible,” he continued. “That was my first mistake. My second mistake was asking Gwen if she and Mal would be interested in trying it.”
“Why not ask both of them?”
“I only had her number. She was my contact for arranging meeting times, and locations. So, I texted her and said I wanted to discuss taking our ‘triad’ to the next level, and explained what I meant. I told her as much as I was enjoying what we were doing, I wanted more ... specifically with Mal. I pointed out how that would really expand the relationship between the three of us, how it would make it stronger, more equal, and all of our needs would be met.
“That was my third mistake … thinking what I wanted mattered at all.”
“She wasn’t interested in the next level?”
“No, not at all. She basically told me my needs didn’t matter, and the three of us had always had an expiration date—which was news to me, since it had never come up before—so going any further wasn’t going to happen. Especially not with Mal, because he didn’t ‘like dick’. Now, I don’t know if she actually believed it or not, but that’s what she said. Her husband didn’t like dick, and me trying to force myself on him was ‘fucking pathetic’.”
“Jesus, really?” Jules’ eyes widened in disgust. “What a bitch.”
“She said my being good in bed had made things interesting for a while, but my ‘services’ would no longer be needed. She told me not to contact her again—or try and contact Mal—and then I’m pretty sure she blocked me to make sure I didn’t. Not that I would have, because by then, I was beyond humiliated and … crushed.”
In the aftermath of that ugliness, Jules grabbed the tequila and poured two shots. After picking his up, Evan said, “Here’s to knowing they’re not married anymore. That was the only real good thing to come out of today.”
Jules clinked her glass against his and then they dispatched the shots together.
“Do you know why they got divorced?” Evan asked, now the one to play with his glass.
She nodded. “I do, but that’s something he should tell you, if you really want to know. It’s kind of an ugly story, so …”
He rubbed at his face for a moment. “When I saw you two today, it sort of gutted me,” he said softly. “I almost couldn’t breathe.”
“I’m sorry. I wish it hadn’t happened that way.”
“It would have gutted me no matter how I found out.” He picked up the tequila bottle and began pouring another shot. “I don’t know if you know this, but the night I met Cat Lady, she and I talked about our ‘one’. You know, the one we loved who got away. She was talking about David, and I was talking about Mal.” He put the shot glass to his lips and downed it. “I know it sounds stupid to say I loved him, because we didn’t spend a lot of quality time together, but at that point in time, Mal was my ‘one’. I really did love him. I loved his shyness, his sense of humor, his intelligence, the smell of his skin, and the sound of his laugh. I pictured myself with him, nurturing him, giving him the support and strength to be who he was meant to be, and I pictured him loving me back. I wanted that so badly, and it really kicked my ass when I didn’t get it.” He looked up at her with sad, haunted eyes. “Fast forward to you.”
“Me?”
He nodded. “I told David once that the only person I’d ever been in love with was a man, and that was true, until you came into my life wearing a red, strapless jumpsuit.”
“You remember what I was wearing the night we met?”
“I do. You want to know what I was thinking, too?”
She thought about that for a few seconds. Did she want to know? Of course she did, but she needed another shot of tequila to hear it, so she quickly downed another one. “Sure. Lay it on me.”
“I was thinking you were not a nice girl like Cat Lady, that you were the type of woman who would toss a man on the floor, rough him up a little bit—”
“Rough him up?”
“His dick. You’d rough it up, then ride him to a half dozen orgasms—”
“A half dozen? That would take some time, so hopefully the man had a lot of stamina.”
“Well, you probably wouldn’t pick a man without a lot of stamina, so after your half dozen orgasms, you’d then grant the guy permission to have his own … and make him thank you for your generosity, when he was finished.”
She couldn’t help but chuckle at the visual Evan had painted of her. “I didn’t realize I was so scary.”
“Scary in a good way.”
“There’s a good way?”
He nodded.
“I guess I’ll have to take your word for it,” she said, just as she recalled Malcom’s reaction to her being an accountant, saying he’d pictured her in a boardroom dominating a bunch of men, possibly firing a few for good measure, and it made her wonder if she reallywasa scary person.
