Page 109 of The Holy Grail
“You know that’s not true.” Malcom suspected Evan was trying to protect himself by pretending he hadn’t felt anything for Malcom. “When we were together, I saw the way you looked at me, and I know you saw the way I looked at you.”
“Saying we were ‘together’ is a bit of a stretch, don’t you think?”
Instead of answering, Malcom adopted a bland expression and waited, exactly as Evan had done earlier.
“Fine,” Evan gave in. “So, I was looking at you, and you were looking at me.” He leaned forward on the bar. “Now, what, exactly, are you thinking that amounted to, besides a seventh-grade level crush?”
Overlooking the sarcastic tone and comment, Malcom answered softly, “Mutual, sexual attraction.”
The words were spoken as if the very act of saying them was a monumental achievement. Perhaps for Malcom, it was, and Evan tried to appreciate it, but … “You know what happens when mutual, sexual attraction isn’t acted upon? The answer is: not a damn thing, which is why there’s no ‘you and me’.” Turning away, he picked up the previously discarded rag, as if he needed to get back to cleaning something, and said over his shoulder, “Thanks for stopping by.”
Malcom ignored the dismissal. “What about affection?”
At that, Evan stilled. “What about it?”
“Jules said you had strong feelings for me.”
Evan felt a spike of annoyance with Jules for having shared that bit of information, and decided he needed to be more careful about telling her things in the future (if the occasion ever arose again), because sensitive information apparently didn’t stay under lock and key with her for too long.
Tossing the rag down, Evan slowly turned around and faced Malcom, who looked slightly uncomfortable now, but was otherwise standing his ground. “Oh? She did?”
“This morning. She said you … loved me.”
Evan took a frustrated breath.Fucking Jules.“Yes, I did. Unfortunately.”
“Unfortunately?” Malcom’s expression faltered.
“Yes, because it was unrequited. That’s the worst, in case you’ve never experienced it,” Evan said, figuring Malcom probably hadn’t, because he looked like a freaking super hero.
“It wasn’t unrequited,” Malcom denied softly. “I don’t know if it was love, exactly, but I had strong feelings for you, too.”
Evan felt his heart flutter at hearing that admission (despite the disclaimer), but the feeling died almost immediately because … eight years. “You know what happens when strong feelings aren’t acknowledged or acted upon? The answer is: not a damn thing, which is why there’s no ‘you and me’ … and never was.” He picked up the rag once more. “So, again, thanks for stopping by—”
“But you wanted there to be something. You talked to Gwen about it.”
Evan draped the rag over one shoulder, because apparently Malcom wasn’t going anywhere. “Yes, I did. And what a colossal mistake that was.”
“About that …” Malcom paused for a moment before continuing. “I’m sorry she was so awful to you. If I’d known—”
“You didn’t know?”
Malcom shook his head. “I found out about it this morning when Jules told me.”
Evan was now operating under the assumption Jules had likely told Malcom everything, which could turn out to be troublesome. Evan couldn’t be totally sure of everything he’d told her, because parts of last night were a little hazy, thanks to Clooney and his smooth tequila. “So, Gwen didn’t mention anything to you about her last conversation with me?”
“Well, she told me she’d ended things with you because she felt like it had ‘run its course’, and I believed her, because that’s how it ended with—” Malcom broke off to take a fortifying breath, “—the woman I had sex with.”
Evan blinked. “The womanyouhad sex with?”
“Yes.”
“Did you and Gwen have an open marriage or something?”
“I’m not sure, to be honest. It started off normal, but—”
“Normal? You mean only fucking each other?”
Malcom nodded. “Yes. It didn’t stay that way, though,” he said, and even though it wasn’t a story he liked to tell, he dove into the deep end anyway. For the next forty-five minutes (with several more breaks, during which Evan had to tend to other customers), Malcom explained about his and Gwen’s ‘experimentation’ with other people prior to Evan entering the mix, then finishing with the Chili’s guy, Gwen’s ultimatum, and the resulting divorce.
