Page 44 of Code Name: Reaper
“Yes.”
“I’m going to make you a promise. Two actually. First, there will come a day, soon I hope, when I do all of those things—and more. Second, I would never do or say something to intentionally hurt you. I’d especially never use your words to humiliate you.”
Tears spilled down her cheeks, which she quickly brushed away.
“I promise you that, Charity. On my life.” I waited, but she didn’t say anything. “Do you believe me?”
“I do.”
“And do you know why I didn’t take you into that stateroom?”
“The same reason I didn’t.”
“And why’s that?”
She half chuckled, then the smile left her face and she looked away. “Don’t make me say it.”
“I want more with you,” I whispered so quietly I was unsure if she’d heard me. Whether or not she did, we’d both stopped ourselves before we went further than either of us was ready for.Both of us.And that meant something.
I sat on the couch beside her and pulled her into my arms. “I don’t know about you, but I could use a nap.”
“You said there’s a bed?”
“Two, actually. You wanna take one, and I’ll take the other?”
“Sure.”
We stood, and I led her the rest of the way to the plane’s aft, opened the first door, and motioned for her to go inside.
“Sweet dreams.” I winked, opened the other door, then shut it behind me.
I layon the stateroom bed, trying to think of anything other than how much I wished Charity was in here with me. No matter how hard I tried to distract myself, my mind kept returning to her, to how much I wanted to feel her body against mine, but also to how much I’d hurt her.
Her fragility shouldn’t be unexpected. Most people who wore armor as thick as hers did it for a reason. Like my brother had said, “She’s lost everyone who mattered to her. Parents, grandparents, now her mentor. Do you think maybe she’s protecting herself from caring about someone else who might vanish?” That part, I understood. It was the depth of her insecurity that baffled me.
While she was right for the wrong reasons, at least in part, why would she have thought I wouldn’t want my parents to meet her? For all intents and purposes, we were two operatives working an investigation. Until I confessed how much I desiredher, hadn’t she thought of us the same way? Hadn’t she compartmentalized when the situation called for it?
There were so many things I didn’t understand about Charity Beaudoin, but I was learning. What I had to remind myself was that, as we got to know each other better, I needed to tread lightly on subjects like family and working environments and especially intimacy.
When she hesitated to go to Shere, even as we were facing an imminent threat, I should’ve paid more attention to her reasoning. She’d said working with a team meant oversight and compromise, and that meant risk. Then, when we’d arrived at the estate that served as the coalition’s headquarters, her behavior felt more like fear than uncertainty. Yet I’d seen her interact with Wren and Nemesis, and she appeared comfortable in their collaboration.
But meeting my parents seemed like something she wanted to do.
I heard the door across the aisle open and shut. Maybe like me, as much as she wanted to rest, she couldn’t. I rolled off the bed and returned to the main cabin, where Charity was taking out her laptop.
“Couldn’t sleep, either?”
She shook her head. “I can’t shut my brain off.”
I understood, but something told me she wasn’t thinking about the same things I was. “What’s on your mind?”
“Prism being from Newport News, coupled with the fact that Edmonds, who gave no indication whatsoever that he knew me when I introduced myself, knew that I was too.”
“Maybe he can give us answers about more than Briggs,” I suggested.
She opened her mouth to speak, but closed it.
“What?” I asked.
