Page 75 of Take No Prisoners
"And?"
"Will you still want me if I fail?"
Efren hadn't known Niall when he was a child, but he recognized the naked need in his eyes. Niall had been disappointed too many times by too many adults in his life, from his parents to the orphanage director to Master Othelio using him as cheap labor without anything resembling gratitude. Efren had to do better.
Efren wanted to do better. He wrapped him in a tight hug and kissed his stubbled cheek. "I will always want you." The words sounded like a platitude, but Efren's heart soared in his chest, lighter than air with the confession. "You are a strong and capable man. You'd benefit any crew that would have you, and I'm sure you'll be a master potter as soon as you can be tested. You've already achieved so much. If it takes you more than a day to work a dangerous weave no one but you could master, you deserve a little grace."
"Thank you." Niall's voice was muffled against Efren's shoulder. He'd curled into him and balled his hands in Efren's shirt. Efren wanted to hold him there and protect him against the cruel world forever.
Niall relaxed his grip, took a step backward, and rose to his full height. "How will I know if it works?"
"You'll feel the trap tighten like a vise until it snaps and breaks around you." Vadim pushed himself to his feet and leaned against the wall beside Klaus. "If you can't break it, you'll both be trapped until Coryn arrives and takes you both as conscripts."
"That's reassuring."
"You wanted to know what would happen if you fail." Vadim grinned. "Now you know."
"You don't have to do this today," Efren said. "You could practice more."
"Do you have a practice trap lying around somewhere?" Vadim asked. "Have you all made such a thing, and I wasn't aware?"
Vadim's smug condescension rankled even more because Efren knew he was right. "No, we have not."
"There are no practice runs. This is it. Either you'll succeed, or you'll fail. We can encourage and educate, but at this point, you're on your own until she's free or you're both trussed up like fish in a net."
Niall's grim smile didn't reach his eyes. "It's now or never, then."
With a burst of air, he created a doorway into Efren's water prison and stepped inside. As it closed around him, the water shimmered and glowed until it was a mirror reflecting Efren's distorted face back at him.
"What happened?" Klaus asked.
"He's using my water weave," Efren said. "That's not balance."
"It's brilliant," Vadim said. "Now to see if it works."
∞∞∞
Niall
When Niall turned Efren's water weave into a giant mirrored capsule instead of a constantly moving stream, he had only one goal in mind. He didn't want Vadim to see him. It was one thing to have Efren's gaze on him. Efren had judged him and found him worthy. He couldn't say the same about Vadim. He didn't want or need Vadim's respect, but he couldn't stand to watch while the death weaver judged his every move.
With the barrier erected, he focused on his grandmother. He could feel her in a way he hadn't before. He sensed the nature of her core. As she'd said, she had a higher concentration of fire and a lower concentration of death. Now, he could sense she was stronger in ice, as well, and weaker with life. She wasn't perfectly balanced, but her balance was symmetrical in its own way.
"Niall,"she said."You've returned a changed man. I'd worried you wouldn't be able to claim joy as your own, but it is hard to resist the unbridled joy of a child to teach you."
He swallowed back the sorrow that joy had cost him on the boat ride back to Horseshoe island. He'd wanted to hold the fire in the palm of his hand so he wouldn't feel the rush of reality dragging him down. While he held his fire, he could forget about his parents, his loneliness, and his desire to be good enough. Without it, those inadequate feelings filled the void and made him feel empty, which was worse than before.
"They tell you the absence of joy is misery,"his grandmother said."They're wrong. It's numbness."
"Is it wrong to want to stay within the fire forever?"
"It isn't wrong," she said. "Joy is a wonderful place, but so are the others. Yes, even the suffering of healing and the release of death. You sought calm before you sought joy. You were drawn to Efren when you could have been drawn to Jasmine instead."
Niall wanted to argue that he wouldn't be drawn to a child, but he recognized the truth in her words. There was nothing inherently sexual about any element. He'd been attracted to Efren far beyond his body.
"You knew that she was a fire weaver from the start, but you weren't attracted to her joy. You empathized with her suffering, and you ended it by bringing her brother back to life. That was enough."
"Not with Efren."
