Page 93 of Take No Prisoners
Gods, Efren was tired. He'd missed that detail. "For Stony Eel's inlet?" He sought his connection with the waves and then found the distant shore. "They won't make it overnight, but they might catch it mid-morning."
"We'll reach them by mid-morning, then. I'll wake Stan, Petri, and Bea early."
"We'll need them on the way back," Efren said.
"We'll have Niall." Vadim said it with certainty, almost as though he was trying to reassure Efren they would arrive in time.
"About Niall ..." Efren realized his mistake when he couldn't finish the sentence. He thought it would be easy to explain his relationship with Niall to Vadim. His former first mate had been his sounding board before they'd been lovers. He didn't see why that should be any different now, except it was. Efren's tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth and the words wouldn't come out.
"Oh no." The whites of Vadim's eyes flashed in the moonlight. "Is this where you confess you still have feelings for me, and you can't fall for that sweet young man who's been mistreated by the world?"
"No!"
"If you do still have feelings for me, I'm sorry." Vadim sucked in a breath and released it slowly before he continued. "I know how that feels, to be in love with someone who will never love you back."
The nerve of that man. "I didn't mean you," Efren said. "Gods, why does everyone think I'm still in love with you?"
"You're not." Vadim heaved an audible sigh of relief. "Thank the gods."
"You're still one of my oldest friends," Efren said, the weight of truth hanging in the air between them. He had missed Vadim's friendship over the last five years far more than he'd missed the man in his bed.
"After everything I've done," Vadim said, "I don't deserve friends."
"I'm not saying I forgive you completely." He couldn't, not yet. There was still a niggling voice in his head screaming Vadim was a traitor and a murderer. He could ignore it until he had Niall by his side again.
"That's fair."
"I understand why you did what you did." Vadim had good intentions, though his methods had always been a little reckless. "I want to help you save Hugo from Coryn, and possibly salvage our empire."
Vadim held out his hand, and Efren shook it. "Thank you. You are more than I deserve."
"Klaus is ten times braver than I am." Efren thought back to Vadim's claim that he was in love with someone who would never love him back. "He allowed you to form a life link with him."
"Death is a powerful coercion tactic. Just ask Martiz." Vadim shrugged. "As much as I'd like Klaus to choose me, I didn't factor into his decision." His face fell as he studied the boards at their feet.
"Maybe once you have a chance to heal him, you can try—"
"No."
The word was so soft, Efren almost missed it over the waves.
"I don't deserve him. I don't deserve anyone after what I've done."
"I don't believe that," Efren said.
"You can't forgive me."
"Not for everything." Efren admitted. "Not yet. You could have told me your secret mission to save Hugo. You could have explained it was Willamina or us, and that she chose to face Coryn. You could have trusted me, but you didn't."
"But Willamina, and—"
"I believe you," Efren said. "Niall was there, and he believes you."
"Gods." Vadim sank against the railing. "I never expected him to understand. He was just a boy, and his parents trusted me to take care of him. He was so distraught, and I left him in an orphanage! How could I explain, or bring him aboard your ship, or... gods. I am a sorry excuse for a caregiver."
Niall's resilience inspired Efren to attempt forgiveness, but it was hard. "He's fine."
"So many aren't. If you knew half of Klaus's story, you would burn every ship in Coryn's navy and murder every fucking air weaver in Hearthstone."
