Page 4 of Suffer No Fools
"Is it really that hard to believe he might want us?"
It was easy when Hugo was kissing him back and grinding his cock against Stan's thigh, but it wasn't right. Stan was old enough to be Hugo's dad. Tovey and Olivia were five years younger. It was time for Stan to take a step back and let them have a go with the young emperor.
Stan had tried all his life to be selfless, but it got harder the older he got. He'd never forced a relationship with Tovey, knowing full well the younger air weaver would resent him for it. Stan had remained faithful to him. Whenever things started to seem too domestic and committed, Tovey would accuse him of cheating, and they'd break up.
"Are Stan and Tovey ... together?"Hugo had asked Olivia. That was the question worth a million gold. Stan never knew where he stood with Tovey on any given day.
At least Hugo and Olivia hadn't ended up fucking. Stan could be selfless, but he would still be jealous of whomever ended up with Hugo. Stan's heart nearly broke for him as he'd cried his heart out on Olivia's lap, but his tears kept Stan's jealousy at bay. Yes, he had only himself to blame for asking Hugo what he wanted, but he wasn't about to make that mistake twice. He'd followed through on Tovey's body language without getting express consent the first time they'd shared a sail, and then Tovey had resented him.
"I don't want a fucking relationship,"Tovey had said.
"It's not a relationship. It's sex."
"People in relationships have sex."
"People have sex all the time,"Stan had countered. "They don't need to exchange rings to do it!"
Stan had won his argument with Tovey by making him think he'd spent the next night at a pleasure house with as many workers as his pirate coin would buy him. As angry as Tovey had been, he'd also been relieved.
They'd continued to share their sail while grumping and grumbling at each other. Beneath it all, Stan needed Tovey with his whole heart and soul, and Tovey refused to need anything or anyone.
Stan stared at Tovey's back as they continued to pushStarlight Specterthrough the blustery winter night. They would reach Aquarion in record time with three shifts of air weavers, even with the cross wind hammering from the port side.
Tovey's hair was loose beneath a hide cap lined with fleece. They were both too far from the navigation deck to feel the warmth from Olivia's fire pit, but the cold never seemed to bother Tovey. He stood tall, his legs spread the width of his hips, and shoved all his anger into his sail in a steady stream of wind.
For once, Stan was angry, too. Angry at himself.
"He needs us,"Tovey had whispered after they'd left him alone in the hold with Olivia."Olivia's not right for him."
"We're too old,"Stan had groused."This is ..."
"No different from Efren and Niall,"Tovey had reasoned."Or Vadim and Klaus. Klaus has only two years on him."
"He's our emperor!"
"He's a man in need of some joy,"Tovey had said."If there's one thing you're good at, it's joy."
Then why did Tovey choose to be angry and alone when he could have chosen to be Stan's mate? Stan would never understand why Tovey continued to push him away.
The sky brightened in the east, and he still didn't have answers. He felt numb from the hours of following the same maze in his head, each time turning around when he reached a dead end.
Stan's mouth got him into trouble more times than not, but he had to know. When Tovey stopped by his trunk in the hold to pull out a pair of long underwear for sleeping, Stan asked. "What is missing between us? Why can't we make this work?"
"So many reasons." Tovey yawned, and the purple half-circles beneath his eyes darkened.
"One, then."
"In the fifteen years I've been on this ship, this is the first time you've asked me that question."
Before Stan could think of a response, Tovey shoved him against the ship wall and kissed him. Tovey's kisses were always more like an assault on his lips, demanding entrance. Stan opened for him, and Tovey claimed him with his hot tongue.
"Mmm," Tovey hummed, his lips brushing against Stan's. "I missed this."
"Missed it? It's always been yours."
"Not when you can't be faithful," Tovey said. "If we do this, you'll need to be true to him, too."
"I've never cheated on you."
