Page 38 of Never Tamed
“Aren’t they? They are living together. Working together toward a common goal. They are providing protection for you.”
“Because they have no other choice. There’s a mate bond in place.”
The edges of her lips lift. “Do you think the mate bonds are accidental?”
I stop short, barely breathing. “What?”
“My chosenhasto have her protectors. Her big bad wolves. Isn’t that what you’ve called them before?” Anna’s eyes spark with mischief and she bumps her shoulder to mine. “Why would her protectors not be spectacular men as well? Strong, capable. Ruthless. Vicious.”
Their faces flash in my mind, from Noble’s smile to Dax’s crazed laugh as he guts his enemies. From Torin ripping off histie to Mathis crushing the fake wedding ring I used to wear to keep the creeps from hitting on me.
Then another horrible thought takes up space inside of me.
“Do any of them really love me, then?”
I choke, tears clogging my eyes immediately.
I thought the men saw me for me, for who I am and my capabilities, beyond just me absorbing the moonstone. They took me up the mountain to the temple when I was dying, didn’t they? Slowed their pace even though they’d have made the trip in hours versus the days it took me.
I’ve never seen Anna angry before. The Moon Goddess, yeah, sure. Even the cut of her stone face is stern in her statue. But seeing the furious glower on Anna’s face kicks things up another level.
“You doubt their feelings when you feel them inside of you? When they’ve proven themselves to you countless times? You’ve proven yourself to them, too.” She sniffs and adjusts one leg over the other, no longer touching me. “I don’t make mistakes.”
I’m not sure I can trust her, though.
How can I?
She’s not the only one angry.
“I’ve been manipulated every step of the way to get here. Manipulated into being alive when I shouldn’t be, into being your sword and shield.” Those two words together taste acrid and burnt. “Is there no part of me that’s still actually me? Even the men I love are nothing but a lie.”
“Who are you, then, Renee? What pieces of you are there that you don’t want to exist?” Anna fires back in challenge.
The strange part is that I actually kinda like who I am now. Sure, my life hasn’t been easy. The years are marked with tragedy and shit and some dark moments where it was hard to peel myself off the floor and stop the tears. And changing into a wolf…
It isn’t easy. It’s not like you see in the movies where the change is effortless and costs nothing. There’s pain with the pleasure.
Even my love for my alphas, my betas, isn’t easy. It’s trying to work with our different personalities and get on the same page where none of us have ever had to bend before.
Compromise is tough.
But it’s made me the same. I like my jagged edges and my hard parts.
“Everything you've been through and the people you have at your side…” Anna trails off. “Everything happens for a reason. So you are able to stop Andras from destroying the balance.”
The balance. It’s the second time she’s mentioned it and a chill drops into my gut. “That bad?”
“Bad is an understatement. The world exists on a tenuous scale. If things skew to one side, if greed and pride and ego are allowed to take over, then something must change in order to shift the energy back to stasis. Otherwise it’s chaos. Madness. Death.”
“I thought death was a natural part of life, too.” It didn’t stop me from wanting to avoid it, though.
“I’m not that kind of goddess. But if it helps you to picture it this way, what Andras is attempting to do is to stop the ties. And if the tides are blocked from the shore for too long…”
She trails off, leaving me to fill in the blank.
I hold up a hand to stop her. “I get it. So I guess you’re not working with Andras.”
Anna’s laugh sends a nearby owl skittering off its stony perch and into the night. “Working with him. Is that what you thought?”
