Page 71 of Never Tamed
Dax’s familiar earthy scent hits before I’m aware of footsteps. When I turn to face him, his eyes are wild, this face pale.
Like he’s seen a ghost.
Maybe he has. Maybe that’s all we are to him anymore.
I hold out a hand. “Dax?”
I’m willing to bet his moments of hysteria are due to memories of his past remerging. After he’d spoken about the song he keeps hearing, the gruesome glimpses of his family, it's the only logical explanation.
Those tragic moments in his life that he’d suppressed for so long are finally coming to the surface, and it’s something he can’t control.
This seems to have struck a chord in him, too. I’ve never seen him so rattled before these episodes. They haunt him. It’s an unnerving thing to witness.
His breath hitches. “No. No, not again.”
“Again?”
The pelts sway gently in the unfeeling wind. His eyes lock on them and he stumbles, reeling from an unseen strike. His hands shake.
“No, no.”
My bloodthirsty beta is gone. In his place is a terrified wolf pup.
“Dax,” I call to him.
He shakes his head. Hearing the song? Seeing the visions? My horror takes a back seat.
“Stay with me, man. Come on.”
The distant siren of more oncoming emergency vehicles means we can’t stay. The human authorities will corner us.
Dax digs in his heels and shakes his head violently enough to fling his hair in a wild halo.
“We have to go.”
He collapses into the snow, curling into himself, panic spilling over. My heart twists. This isn’t like his other fits where he went crazy and violent. This is him being in pain. Agony. Vulnerable. They’re all parts of him I’ve never seen before. And it rips me to shreds to witness.
“It’s them. My parents,” he says, barely audible.
I drop beside him. “Dax, you’re here. With me. With us.”
His gaze flicks over my face but doesn’t seem to really see anything at all. It’s like he’s looking right through me. “The blood… the screams… She’s crying! I can’t find her! Where’s Gracie?”
I want to help him, wish there was something to do, but how do you fight a monster you can’t see? It’s the same with Andras. Like Dax’s memories, he’s another phantom haunting me. I want to help him, but my own chest feels tight, like I’m drowning in the same hopelessness he is.
How can I help anyone when I’m barely holding myself together?
“I’m sorry,” I say. I hate the way my voice cracks. “I don’t know what to do.”
It’s a hard thing to admit, but it’s true.
I’m sorry, Father. You were wrong. I’m not made to be alpha. I’ve failed them all.That’s my legacy, I think, turning away from the pelts. Failure.
Dax’s trembling doesn’t ease, but he leans into me anyway and all I can do is whisper to him as he comes undone.
Then Ren appears at his other side. Touching his arm, she murmurs, “Dax. It’s Red. I’m here. You’re safe. There’s no blood. It’s only us. And you’re going to get through this.” Her eyes lift to me. “We’re going to get through this.”
It takes another heartbeat for him to settle and quiet. The wildness in his eyes dulls. His breathing slows. Ren continues to soothe him and rub his bare arm. Only her touch eases his shaking and settles the raging storm.
