Page 61 of Never Tamed
I tense for a second and reach for the loaf of bread, slamming it down harder than necessary in front of me. Knife, where’s the knife? My fingers refuse to curl.
Ren’s confusion is a tickle in my brain.Fine.
The relief is immediate and I almost drop the blade. Then, regaining my composure, I purposely leave the door between us open, the bond like a highway. Ren, on the other hand—
Slams it shut.
The abrupt silence spins my head and I go dizzy.
Fine, that’s fine, for now. She’s on her way here. The necklace burns a hole in my pocket while I cut four pieces of uneven bread and search for a fresh pan. There’s a dented but clean stainless steel one near the sink.
I have to be the opposite ofme
That’s the objective. I have to do what I wouldn't ordinarily do to show her I’m serious about making this work.
I’ve fucked everything up. I’m not sure there's a way to go back on it and it’s maddening to feel flustered. I’ve had my entire life under control for years.It's been the only way to ensure protection for my people and survival, for me.
I set the pan on the stove and grab a chunk of butter and cheese from the fridge. Grilled cheese is a classic, right? Comfort food. Something to warm the heart.
I haven’t let myself have comfort in a long time. There’s been an element of punishment in my control, as though it somehow makes me a better leader to suffer for the others.
No one likes a martyr.
Ren liked me anyway and look what I did to her? I hurt her. I put her directly into harm’s way and Catarina almost killed her because of it.
My awareness deepens the closer Ren gets and I force myself to go slow and steady as I construct the grilled cheese. Then a sigh, a soft gust of air on the back of my neck, tickles my skin.She’s here.
I turn slowly to find her leaning against the open doorway with her arms crossed over her chest. The sight of her takes my breath away and this time, I let it happen rather than tamping everything down. Sensation storms me in a way that makes me lightheaded. My fingers freeze around the pan handle.
Long hair curls over her shoulders and dark lashes flutter. “Well?” Her voice is soft.
But there’s fire in her eyes.
I clear my throat and hope the next words out of my mouth don’t make me sound like a complete fucking prick. “I cooked.”
“You…cooked.” She repeats. “Why?”
“Because I wanted to try to do something nice for you.” Something that isn’t me.
The air between us goes tight and hot and strained. “You don’t cook. You have an army of personal chefs who are Michelin star trained.”
She sniffs.
“I’m trying.” I let it land. Hopefully it counts. “I’m trying to be better than I was.”
Ren sags. “Christ, Torin, no one asked you to turn yourself inside out. I never asked you to change who you are.”
“But who I am is wrong.” My mouth fills with the taste of something bitter and disgusting. “I treated you like you were a choice. You’ve never been a choice, Ren. You’ve always been something special. To me and to the world. I can’t apologize enough.”
I want her in my arms.
“And you think cooking me dinner is going to be the trick to winning me over?”
My chest goes tight enough to split my ribs. “I have to try.”
Her eyes widen and hope surges like a fucking traitor in my bloodstream.
Then, “Torin, the pan!”
