Page 94 of Never Tamed
How do I even put it, so he’ll understand?
Torin’s brow furrows. “I’m trying—”
“We’ve been sitting on this for a lot longer than you think. I had things to say even before I left, before I came back.” I glance to the side.
Shit, okay. The liquor loosens my tongue, but the words have been beating at me for so long, I’ve forgotten what it feels like to live free of them.
Torin’s willingness to talk shows how much the mate bond has changed him. Rather than erupting, shoving his thoughts and feelings and control down my throat, he takes a sip of whiskey.
“Okay, Noble. Okay.”
I can’t say for sure he’ll listen to me, but the second the dam breaks, there’s no holding back anymore. The anger I’ve always tamped down finally bubbles up like an uncontrollable swell of acid. It devours everything in its path.
“I got out.” I surge to my feet and pace in front of the chairs in his office. Outside, a bitter wind blows. “You knew how much it meant to me to get out and to make a life for myself. And fuck you if you try to tell me it was never going to work. I made it work. Things were going well.”
My stomach twists.
I had an apartment. A human girlfriend. A career I’d built from the ground up that had nothing to do with who my parents or my friends were. My life had no association with my past. There was no lure of the moon and there was no pack responsibility.
There was only me and whatever the fuck I wanted.
“I came back because you asked me to, because you needed me and as my friend, I wasn’t about to let you go through the loss alone. Then you tell me you paid for my college. You were pulling the strings the entire time.” My voice cracks and I point a finger at him, still clutching the shot glass.
Torin, on any given day, would look unruffled and unbothered. Like that fucking meme where the dude is moisturized and living his best life. Not tonight.
Tonight, a muscle ticks near his temple, and his normally trim goatee has a few wild hairs. “I didn’t want you to flounder.”
“No, you didn’t think I could hack it on my own,” I argue.
And I suspect, although I’m not ready to say it yet, that he didn’t want me to make it without him. Because clearly he can’t make it without me. I’ve been the best beta possible for him and the Steel Claws, but the time has come for me to take a more equal position. We share a mate.
The hierarchy can’t work if we’re not able to respect each other.
“Ren was mine first. And I have no problem sharing her with you because goddess fucking knows mates are rare. But I tried to tell you and you threw it in my face. It doesn’t matter how many amends you make with her.Thisreckoning has to happen too,” I add gruffly.
“Do you think an apology is going to help you feel better? Or erase the past?” His tone makes it clear I’m dredging up things he wants to stay hidden. “It won’t. It’s only words.”
“Will it help? Maybe, maybe not, but you'll remember this: I warned you against diving head first into an agreement with the Briar Pack. You ignored me. As usual.”
Typical Torin behavior.
Mr. I-know-better-than-any-other-fucking-person-on-this-planet. I understand his motivation, I do. But it doesn’t make me feel any better.
The manic energy in me lights my veins and I drown myself in the last of the liquor before pacing. I stomp parallel lines back and forth in front of his desk, his mini empire in the camp.
“So what do you want to talk about? Ren or Catarina?” he asks.
“They’re both linked and you know it.”
Maybe he’ll take me around in circles until his point is the only one left. I have no way of knowing as Torin blocks himself from me mentally. It’s more to protect himself, I know, because we’re pretty shit at being vulnerable.
You okay over there? Torin has a wall up, Ren whispers through my mind. She yawns, sleepy and well-fucked, cradled in Mathis’s arms and wearing his scent.
I practically smell it from here.
My heart softens a little.We’re fine. Just talking to each other. It had to happen.
I feel her yawn a second time.You need backup?
