Page 17 of Rhythm Of Our Souls
“This feels weird,” I moan, burying my face in Brady’s neck. His knot always takes longer to go down. Sometimes, I could be locked to him for hours and every time we move, he sets off another orgasm, making his knot swell all over again.
Not knowing how long we’re going to be in this position, it’s better to move up to the room I share with the guys.
“But weird in a good way.” I shudder.
“The best way,” he grunts, shuddering as he cums again. I can’t help but giggle.
“Brat,” he chuckles.
“You love it.”
He stops at the top of the stairs and kisses the tip of my nose. “And I love you.”
“I love you too.” My heart goes wild inside my chest. I look over to Gavin, who’s just behind his brother. “I love you, too.”
“I love you more, Little One,” he says, smiling softly.
My heart is always so full when I’m around my Alphas. I feel safe, happy, and wanted, more than anything in this world.
Yet, I still can’t bring myself to let them mark me, to permanently make me theirs.
Back when I was seventeen, my best friend and I went to a party. We drank a little too much. One thing led to another, and we kissed. A kiss I’ll never be able to forget.
It didn’t end the way either of us would have thought.
Ally confessed her love for me, that she wanted me for so long.
I knew I felt the same way. So much so, it scared me to death.
At that moment, I was taken off guard, my mind hazy with alcohol, and I didn’t respond how she was hoping I would. I wanted to tell her I felt the same way, because I did, but with the fucked up life I had—growing up in a cult that believed being an Omega and being gay was a one-way trip to hell—I let my fear of my parents hold me back.
She left, taking my heart with her. I should have told her how much I really cared because not long after she left, my parents found me. I thought I knew what fear was, but it was nothing close to what I had to endure after that night.
It’s been years; she’s now a big, famous popstar, and I’m here, with my Alphas living a life I never thought I’d get a chance to.
We’ve grown up, started our own lives, but here I am, still in love with Ally, now more than ever.
Some might call it an obsession. I thought it would die down after I started seeing Gavin and Brady, but nothing's changed.
They know how I feel about her, how I’ll always love her, and they’ve accepted that.
I had the chance to see her more than once over the past year. My best friend, Maya, is an author, and she had an amazingopportunity to have Ally, who happens to be her favorite actress, be the lead in the movie adaptation of one of her books.
With me being Maya’s manager, I could have gone to a number of their meetings, but I always came up with an excuse as to why I couldn’t go.
The real reason was that I was terrified. I didn’t know if she still thought of me or if she even remembered who I was. Did she hate me? Or was I not even worth still thinking about all these years later?
I’ve worked myself up so much every time, and I refused to go.
Sitting with the unknown for the rest of my life feels safer than exposing myself to the possible pain that seeing her again would cause.
The only thing is, it’s not fair to the two men who’ve been nothing short of amazing to me.
They are my Alphas. My pack. My future. I know I need to deal with my past before I can move forward, but I’m still terrified.
I owe it to them to give myself wholly to them. I won’t offer them anything less.
I’m just not sure when I can make that offer.
