Page 8 of It Never Happened
“Your money doesn’t impress me.”
“My dick used to.”
“Used tobeing the key words.”
Our banter is still on point, and it makes me smile. It also turns me on. Courtney and I loved to fight,if only for the makeup sex. Sometimes she’d pick a fight just to see how far I’d go before dragging her off to the bedroom. We were kids, barely legal to buy a drink, but I’ve never met someone I was so attuned to. Even after all the people I met and dealt with in business, no one knew exactly how to push my buttons like Courtney Becker. I loved every minute of it.
“You know, your drive for business, your excitement for learning and helping people, is what impressed me, Jack. But then you became obsessed with owning things and collectingmore. Instead of growing, learning, and adapting to change.”
“I’m a businessman, Courtney. We can’t eat if I don’t make money.”
She pauses, collecting her thoughts. I can see questions dancing in her mind. Mine have been dancing all night, and once Joey said she’s sad and tired from doing it alone, all those thoughts came rushing to the forefront.
“Why are you really here, Jack?”
“I want to try again.”
She jerks her head to me in complete surprise, her face screwed up like I just suggested she jump off the highest building in Bluemoon.
“No.” Her answer is short, exactly what I expected, and I smile. “Is this a joke to you? Why are you smiling?”
“No, Coco, it’s not a joke.”
She narrows her eyes. “What happened to the boy I used to know?”
“He grew up.”
“Yeah, into a money-hungry prick.”
“I worked foryou. You wanted out of this town, and I provided your way.”
“I made it out of this town on my own, thank you very much.”
“Yeah, and who helped you start a new life?”
“Some life! You wined and dined me, married me, knocked me up then left! You didn’t give me what I needed.”
“The hell I didn’t.”
“We neededyou!Not money or dinners sent to us because you were working late. Not going on vacations and flying on different planes to get there.”
“That happened once. Don’t throw that in my face.”
“Are you serious? You’re not hearing what I’m saying. I bet you don't even know why you want to try again.”
“I do. I want to be close to Joe. I want us to be a family.”
“Close in distance or close emotionally? Because if you think moving us to the city to do the same shit you used to do is going to happen, you’re sadly mistaken.”
“He told me you’re tired. He told me you’re sad. He hears you crying at night, telling January you can't do this alone anymore. Come back with me. Let me make it easier.”
“Moving won’t make it easier, Jack. You don't get it. You can't uproot his life. His life is here.Ourlife is here. We don’t needthings,we have them, we neededyou.”
I sit back and think of all the times I left them to go on business trips. Joe was just a baby, but I never woke him in the morning and never put him to bed at night. If I was lucky to get home before Courtney gave him a bath before bedtime, I’d see him in passing but was too tired to help. I’d eat the meal she prepared for me and then fall asleep on the couch.
“We were bad at loving each other,” I say.
“We weren’t bad at it; we just didn’t know how to change with it. We never moved beyond the teenage desire that we thought would last. It wasn’t enough to carry us through learning how to be adults together.”
