Page 68 of Brutal Alpha Beast
I come to a halt, my breath coming out in frantic gasps.
“Danielle, look at me,” he says.
I shake my head, refusing. If I look at him now, I don’t know what’ll come out.
He touches the side of my arm, and I shiver, his hand warm and steady, anchoring me.
“Please,” Ellis says, softer now, his voice painfully familiar. “Don’t run from me. You can’t keep running away.”
I swallow hard, unable to look up, my eyes fixed on the ground between us. “You remember everything, don’t you?”
“Do you understand what that feels like?” He asks me. “For a whole part of your life to be taken away by a spell. Who gave you the right to do that?! And what about the pack?”
I look up at him pleadingly. “I’ve only lifted it for you,” I say. “I can lift it for the pack, but only when you decide you’re ready.”
Despite the anger in his tone, Ellis just looks overwhelmed, and etched on his face, I notice a little of what looks like guilt.
“This is crazy, Danielle,” he asserts with force. “I get running away, but before you did a spell, why would you not at least try and talk to me first?”
“How could I talk to you?” I yell, jerking myself out of his grasp. “When you were looking at me like I was a monster just because of what I was. Can you imagine how that feels? To make love to someone and then be looked at that way?”
I notice another flash of guilt cross over his face.
“I was young, Danielle.”
“And I was young too!” I press, walking away. “You’re painting me out to be this villain, when I did what I had to do to survive.”
“And what about me?” He calls.
I turn around. “What about you?”
“If none of this had happened, you would have kept me in the dark? Our history is my history, too. Just because you don’t like something doesn’t mean you should erase it. That’s insane!”
My throat tightens. “You think I don’t know that?”
He doesn’t move. His chest rises and falls, his breath shaky, fists clenched at his sides. I can see the war behind his eyes—grief, betrayal, confusion.
I hate seeing him like this. I never wanted to cause him pain.
“I hated doing it,” I admit, quieter now. “But I didn’t see another way. If I were going to live nearby, I couldn’t risk anything happening to the coven because of me. I didn’t know how you’d react; it was for practical reasons, and hey, didn’t I spare you years of pain?”
He scoffs and closes the distance between us. I’m nervous, unprepared for us to be this close.
“You’ve spared me nothing, Danielle. I feel everything now. All of it at once, all the pain...”
His voice trails off. “And I searched for you. You know, I remember that now, once you left, I searched the forest, I thought maybe.”
He looks away.
“Thought what?”
Then his jaw clenches, the fire in his eyes alight. “I thought you were dead, Danielle! That something happened to you because of me. We were only kids. We couldn't think straight.”
I shake my head. “Don’t use that as an excuse.”
“I’m not. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did, or said what I said; I know that now, Danielle, of course. But you shouldn’t have run away! You shouldn’t have made me forget so manygoodthings.”
That stops me.
