Page 81 of Deep Blue Lies
She takes a deep breath and looks around while I slump more onto Sophia.
“And what you said about your birthday,” she says now. “About how your mother said it might not be your actual birthday. Maybe sheisyour real mum, and all this is just some confusion about dates?”
I know she’s only saying this. To make it easier, to make me less scared about what I know I need to do now.
None of us have got in the car yet, and Maria sighs again and looks around. Very much unlike any British hospital I’ve ever seen, there’s a strip of cafes across the road which look both welcoming and pleasant.
“Maybe we should get something to eat?” Maria says, and Inod. I don’t feel hungry, but somehow the thought of getting into the car and returning to Alythos, away from Imogen, seems wrong. The problem is I don’t know what would feel right.
“OK,” I say, and a moment later I hear the car blip and see the locking lights flash. Sophia leads me through the car park and across a busy road to the cafes. They all have tables on the pavement, but Maria leads us inside, where it’s cooler and there’s less noise from the road. We sit, and they order coffee and pastries.
“I think you should call her, let her know what’s happened,” Maria tells me when the food has arrived. Only Sophia has touched it at all. I don’t answer.
“Where is she?” Maria asks me.
I shrug. “At home.”
“You say Imogen is a friend of hers. At least you ought to tell her that she’s been hurt.”
I let her words wash through me, not really hearing them. But it’s as if they snag on something, they spark a reaction.
“But she wasn’t hurt, someone attacked her. Someone wanted to stop her talking to me.” I look at Maria, my eyes pleading with her to explain this to me. For a long time her eyes rest on mine, then she sighs.
“It could just be a coincidence. There are gangs of Albanians, I’ve read about?—”
“Oh, come on, Mum,” Sophia cuts in, angry. “You know it’s not true.” She turns to me. “Everything here gets blamed on Albanians.” She shakes her head.
“I agree, Sophia, but what’s the alternative? Do you really believe that someone attacked this poor woman just so that she couldn’t tell Ava who her real mother is? Why would that happen?”
“I don’t know. But you don’t know either.”
I see the frustration on Sophia’s face, a moment later she speaks again. “Ava had her room broken into as well. Stole her laptop. Do you think that was Albanians?”
Maria stays silent.
“And then whoever did it smashed the laptop up and hung a bag with the bits in on her front door. Like they were sending a message.”
“What message?”
“I don’t know. I don’t have a clue. But something.”
I thought it would all make sense if I turned out to be Mandy Paul’s baby. But if I’m not, then I don’t understand anything.
There’s a silence. Then Maria tries again.
“Maybe she’ll be able to explain this to you, your mother? Now you can show her you know you weren’t born when she said you were. Or weren’t born to her?”
I don’t answer.
“Either way, you’re going to have to face this. Sooner or later. And with Imogen…” – her eyes slide to the hospital over the road – “it would be better sooner.”
For a long time I stay quiet. Then I quickly pull out my phone. They both watch me as I stare at the screen. It’s weird to think that with this device I can speak with this woman, thousands of miles away. This woman who has brought me up, who has been my mother my entire life, but who clearly isn’t. This woman who’s lied to me about who I am. Idly I press a button and the phone comes to life. My lockscreen image. A smile comes to my lips. It’s me and Kevin, arm-in-arm, with the cold North Sea behind us.
“I keep meaning to change that,” I say, my eyes finding Sophia’s. She doesn’t look away.
Mum’s listed in my phone as “Mum” – what else would I put? What will I have to change it to after this conversation? I have no idea.
“Do you want some privacy, honey?” Maria asks, and I’m almost surprised, because I’ve retreated so far into myself that I’d almost zoned them out. I bite my lip, then shake my head.
