Page 86 of Deep Blue Lies
“What talk?”
“Thisone. Ava, you’re quite right, I wasn’t pregnant with you. There’s only one conclusion from that.” She stops again, and for a moment she covers her face with her hands.
“Ava, I’m sorry to tell you like this, but you were adopted. When you were very young. I never told you because I wanted you to have as normal a life as I could give you, and I thought it was for the best this way.”
Her words are like being sideswiped by an iceberg. A wall of cold that freezes my brain. I already knew – of course I knew – what other solution could there be? But at the same time it still feels as if the ground shifts. I wanted to believe it wasn’t true.
“Who are my real parents?”
“I have no idea.”
I shake my head. I can’t form the words.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re Greek, or at least you came from Greece, that much istrue – like I always told you. But the way the adoption system here works, the records are sealed. Not even the adopting parents are told about the child’s history.”
I blink at her, my mother, except she’s actually not my mother. And I never knew. I never even suspected it. Not for a moment.
“Well, they’ll tellme. Surely they’ll let me know?”
“No, they won’t. That’s not how it works here. It’s one reason I decided not to tell you. The system here is that not even the child is allowed to know. Not once the records have been sealed. If I’d have told you, it would just pose you a question that couldn’t be answered.”
My mouth drops open to protest, but I already know that this part is true. This part at least.
“Am I from Alythos?”
“No.”
I shake my head, my mouth open, speechless.
“I’mnotfrom Alythos?”
“It’s highly unlikely. When I took custody, I was told you would be given a Greek passport. I couldn’t prevent that, though I wanted to. I was allowed to allocate a place of birth. Because I’d worked here, on Alythos, I chose the island.”
I blink at her.
“What about my date of birth?”
“I’m not sure. It’s possible the adoption agency didn’t even know your exact date of birth. We decided upon May 20. It seemed as good a day as any.”
I’m silent, processing this.
“I actually told you once. I don’t know if you remember, you were ten or eleven?—”
“Yes. I remember.”
Now Mum’s quiet, watching me with cautious eyes.
“But May 20 is also the date that Mandy Paul had her baby,” I begin, because I’m still stuck on this, even though I’m notthatchild. I regret it at once.
“Mandy Paul has nothing to do with it.” She shakes her head, takes another sip of wine.
“But she had a child, on the same day. And she was murdered, when the Aegean Dream Resort shut down. It was left alive. I thought that might be me…”
“Oh, Ava.” Mum shakes her head now, then offers the first smile that looks even vaguely genuine. “Oh goodness. That has nothing to do with this. Nothing at all.”
“I took a DNA test,” I hear myself blurting out. “Mandy Paul kept a lock of the child’s hair. I had my DNA tested against it.”
